Third Slip - Issue 25 : Get a quarter ready, you'll need it.

Two weeks back, we had an outlier - the happiest issue we ever had. Well, things have not just resumed normal service, but have taken a turn for the absolute worst. Keep a drink / inhaler / stressball ready.

A brutal murder: Of a person, and free speech itself.
One of the most outspoken critics against the government, journalist Gauri Lankesh, has been shot dead outside her home in Bangalore. But what is even more depressing is what followed. Dozens of tweets celebrating this, some saying she got her comeuppance, other rationalists feeling threatened, and no sharp condemnation from the Right. Any post / news link’s comments section is likely to send you into depression. Honestly, things are too disgusting for us to even want to attempt making a joke about this. But hey, lunatics on the right will say we’re still lucky to be alive In India. After all, things are worse in Saudi Arabia and other parts of the world. Which… Even more depressingly, might not be entirely false. After all...

#ItsProbablyWorseInTheUS
Especially if you’re an undocumented immigrant. Trump has repealed an Obama legislation that gave them temporary protection. He now expects Congress to find a solution for those affected. Think of it as kicking somebody in the balls and reassuring the kick-ee that a nearby pharmaceutical company is working on a solution for the pain. Maybe.

#ItsWorseInCambodia
Where the leader for opposition has been arrested for treason a year before general elections. Think of it as kicking someone in the balls and then shutting down the pharmaceutical company (this analogy is going nowhere).

#ItFarWorseInTheCaribbean
Where a massive hurricane is reeking havoc. Florida is also massively affected.

#ItsDefinitelyWorseInMyanmar
Where once-revered Nobel Peace Prize winner Aung San Suu Kyi doesn’t care too much about the fact that 120,000 Rohingya Muslims have fled Myanmar and 400 have been burnt alive after several of them were killed by the Army, accused of genocide. UN Aid agencies are blocked from delivering food to them. These are a people who are not recognized by the Government as citizens, and even a refugee-friendly country like ours is trying to deport them. Modi visited, but nothing happened except photo-ops, don’t worry. Balls feeling okay?

#ItMightSoonGetWorseInNorthKorea
Thanks to its nuke-happy leader, China might be forced to cut off oil supplies via the ‘friendship pipeline’ - as NK’s antics (including a new nuke test) have put it in a tight spot as it increasingly tries to become a dominant force in the area. Think of it as getting your balls kicked by your errant younger brother who everyone else hates while trying to become class monitor. We’re not saying NK is kooky, but when Vladimir Putin tells you to calm the eff down...

#ItsOKInGermanyButSomeoneWantsToMakeItWorse
Nigel Farage - winner of UK’s face most likely to be used as a dartboard - is in Germany trying to rile up alt-righters. Why can’t he just go and have beer and pass out in the streets like most nice English tourists?

Where it’s definitely better: In... Russia. Specifically, in the Russian-US election hacking industry. Thousands of divisive ads were linked to bogus Russian accounts. Add nationalism to digital hypertargeting and you have a dystopia even Orwell couldn’t have predicted.

How close are we to apocalypse?
After reading this far, you probably won’t mind the world blowing up. North Korea is begging for war, and nobody’s sure why. So to answer the question, let’s put it this way: Don’t bother with FDs for over 5 years.

BRICS
No sooner did Modi and Xi seem to shake hands, did army chief Bipin Rawat say war from both sides could not be ruled out. Aila.

Comedy of the Week
We need some levity, so take this: Pahlaj Nahlani did this. (it’s too funny, we can’t top that)
Runner up: Rahul Gandhi going to Silicon Valley to talk about Artificial Intelligence.

New cabinet
Yes we have some new faces. Since a new collection of people who won't do anything is unimportant, we won't get into details. While some are celebrating that a woman has become a defence minister, the actual story is that the BJP doesn’t think allies exist.

Just how much money is there in cricket you ask?
Close your eyes and think of your annual CTC. Done? Now, consider Star Sports paid the BCCI 16347.5 crores for the global media rights for the IPL for the next 5 years. Facebook, surprisingly had the highest bid for Indian digital rights. With that much to recover now, be prepared for the likes of the Karbonn Kamal Catch and YES Maximums to only get higher. Hey, we’d do a Micromax Presents LinkedOut section too, if money came our way. We might be left-leaning, but our bank accounts are leaner.

LinkedOut - Some cool things we read this week

• Drones during the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey showed how useful they can be - to survey damage, and even for insurance companies to verify claims.

• #AccheDin has happened. For Mario. Who is no longer a plumber.

• Nobody knows what a smart city is, including the people who came up with the term. There are clearly some ex advertising folks in the government.

Okay, slightly good news before we leave

The Supreme Court warns cops that criticism of the government is not sedition. The SC is clearly gunning for the Man of the Series award.

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Phew, that was a lot to take in. Don't worry, next week will be better. We promise. And if it doesn't, you can always count on your weekly dose of Apocalyptic Cheer from The Third Slip. Say hello to us on on Twitter (Tony | Chuck). You can go all old-school and email us. Or you can go older school and carrier pigeon... Never mind. But no, really - we'd love to think what you know of TTS. And importantly, pass it on. Not because the truth needs to reach more people and all that, but because we like validation. Until next time, have a nuke and lynch-free week!