The Third Slip: Issue 81 - Now with cat videos!
Hello, Slippers! Welcome to The Third Slip - the weekly newsletter that has its heart in the right place, has entertaining characters, but are largely ineffectual on the ground because its performance leaves a lot to be desired. Any similarity to the West Indies team is purely coincidental.
This is issue 81. 8-1, of course, is Virat Kohli’s loss-win record in tosses in the last few test matches prior to the West Indies in India tour. And with the same amount of clear cluelessness with which Kohli calls a toss, we’ve tried out something new this time. A completely cringeworthy pilot media section which we hastily recorded and amateurishly edited, but hey it’s a start. So here we go…
Cringe Benefits: TTS Media Section
Disclaimer: Please read the disclaimers in the video description before watching it. This is uncharted territory for us and we’re anticipatorily sorry for what you’re about to see. But if you push on long enough, there will be cats in the video. (Click on the thumbnail below to view the video (on YouTube))
There’s no classy way to segue from what we just inflicted on you, so we shall not try.
News...
At Home
Kissan Jam: Farmers have had enough of government neglect. So they protested peacefully - but this was enough to rile up Delhi police who proceeded to water-cannon them. Interestingly, most are from UP. 2019 might not go as well as the BJP thinks it might, so that’s probably why his cronies want you to take an 8-month sabbatical and help Mr. Modi.
Not going gaga: Ranjan Gogoi is our new CJI. Although, not stopping the deportation of 7 Rohingya men is a bad start. And then, he also said “If your life is in danger, then what better place to stay than jail?” to a defence analyst seeking bail for allegedly making derogatory remarks about Odisha’s Konark Temple. What's the word for "nostalgia for last week"?
Poda fone: Following the SC’s judgment on Aadhaar and how private players cannot use it, your telecom company has till Oct 15 to tell you how to de-link Aadhaar from your phone number. Currently it’s a case of wherever you go, UIDAI will follow...
No clever headline: A (so-called) comedian has been sending very inappropriate messages to several women, including a minor, and this led to a #metoo equivalent in India. As men we should probably shut up, listen, introspect about how we’ve made women uncomfortable, and promise to do a lot better.
Everywhere Else
Pak-ing too early: For a change, we’ll start with a vintage Pakistan piece of news. A Pakistani bureaucrat has been suspended because he was caught on camera stealing the wallet of a visiting Kuwaiti dignitary. You may want to re-read that sentence, pausing at every word to appreciate the sheer beauty of it. It is not known if the bureaucrat defended himself saying “Well he did say Dinar’s on me”.
Alert-native Facts: Trump can now send a message to everyone in the US. Sad. Maybe he’ll tell everyone about how Stormy Daniels’ new book is all wrong and made up.
Subprime Court: Yeah, so Brett Kavanaugh is now going to be a US Supreme Court judge for a few decades despite nationwide protests and a sham of an FBI investigation. This is actually a fascinating way to fight immigration: Make your country suck so much nobody will ever want to come there. After all…
NAFTA’s lean balls: Trump made a new trade deal with Mexico and Canada and insisted it wasn’t the same as NAFTA which he tore up. He’s right, it’s worse. US car makers will not win.
Stockholm Syndrome: Sadly, this week, arguably the best Twitter account out there - @sweden - where a country entrusted its official Twitter account in the hands of ordinary people, decided to shut down. Proving yet again that while nice in theory, actual democracy... no we won't go there.
Putting the Re in Theresa (and Brexit): You really must admire the British PM - if at first, second, third… 78th, 79th you don’t succeed… try try Brexiting again.
What a fun world!
Coin is an anagram of icon: Australia: When it’s not busy making new species to kill you, it’s busy making official tender based on rock bands: Take these AC/DC coins.
Putting the diss in Disney: Kuwait is banning kids’ books like the Little Mermaid for being too revealing (one assumes, they speak of outfits and not philosophically?)
Snapchat paintings: Auction is an anagram of caution. At least when Banksy is involved. The maverick artist had built in a shredder into his painting which self-destructed immediately after being sold for $1.4 million.
Tech
Skin in the game: HP made a laptop made with leather which they claim is the first of its kind in the world. Or to be more accurate, no one’s thought of making something this pointless. It’s not clear if the design team misread a memo that said “make laptop with tether”.
I’m feeling checky: Google built a fact-check engine. Great news, we hope it works.
ASL 2.0: For some reason, Yahoo! made a new messenger. The most surprising part of this story is the knowledge that Yahoo, the company is still alive.
Putting the sin in misinformation: 90% of the Twitter accounts that spread misinformation in 2016 are still active. RTs are still endorsements.
Seenit: Reddit not just built its own video player, but it has 1b monthly views.About .5b of those are from the TTS media section. Not.
Business
Raising the cap on capitalism: The company owned by the world’s richest man, Amazon, raised its minimum wage - to stop all the whining and the fact that they need a few more employees during the festive season.
Ad infinitum: More YouTube targeting options are coming, which begs the question, How much more data does Google have on you now?
Does your company have a CO2O?: The EU wants 45% emission cuts by 2030 so of course, automakers are crying. Remember this cartoon?
LinkedOut - Great things we read this week
We’ll all learn to love Zuck eventually. Just like we did Bill Gates.
Delhi’s doorstep government scheme - we’re fans. So is The Guardian.
The speed of the #metoo movement gives other movements (esp. climate change) hope.
One country that’s pwning this globalisation thing while being socialist at the same time is… Vietnam!
Trump’s made millennials nostalgic for… 2015.
That’s it for this week. Did you watch the video in the media section? If not, please do. If you did, please direct your brickbats (and bouquets?) to our inbox. If you’d like to follow us on social media, you can find us on Twitter (Chuck | Tony). Until next week, may you try out something completely new and out of your comfort zone that ends up being cringe-worthy but pursue it anyway.