The Third Slip: Issue 67 - A state of um… urgency?
Hello, Slippers! Welcome to The Third Slip, the weekly newsletter that keeps going on and on... like Celine Dion’s heart. Wow, that’s a strong 21 year old reference to start with. Huge. Titanic even. Don’t worry, this is only the tip of the iceberg. By the time we’re done, we’ll be all at sea. We will draw you like one of those French girls games against Denmark (WTF was that listless 0-0 draw?)
This is issue 67. 67, of course, is still not enough rupees to get you 1 dollar today because the world decoupled the performance of the Indian government from its economic stature in 2014. It’s a pity really, but hey, at least we’ve all got Rs 15 lakhs in our bank accounts now. But forget all that, we have lots to catch up on before the world cup matches start...
At home
Self-reverential humour: What do you do when after 4 years of being elected everything you’ve touched has become worse? Call your party’s think-tank, have someone misunderstand the term “emergency meeting”, suddenly realise what a masterstroke that misunderstanding is, and use the taxpayer’s money to take out ads reminding Indians of the Emergency that ended 41 years ago. Particularly amusing in a situation where India’s ranking in press freedom has fallen down to 138 (don’t know if that’s good or bad? Here’s a quick rule of thumb, if our ranking in anything is worse than our ranking in Football, it’s terrible). But then, holier-than-thou people indulge in self-reverential humour. All hail the irony men of India.
Ladies’ first: Yeah baby, we’re #1! India is the most unsafe place for women in the world, according to the Thomson Reuters Foundation, above Syria and Saudi Arabia. Butthurt bhakts are already dissing the report on the Twitter profile of the CEO of the foundation who is (you guessed it) a woman. The methodology might not be perfect, but as the saying goes, there’s no smoke without fear.
When Sush comes to shove: Sushma Swaraj helped out an interfaith couple and got trolled by, er, her own party’s bhakts. So now basically we know that the trolls have blind faith to the PM. Sushma being the bawse she is, though, just RTed the best of the trolls.
God’s own country, but for men only: Despite its better than average track record on most social aspects, Kerala remains an extremely misogynistic society. This week, two pieces of news that should make you cringe - 1) A group of priests blackmail and sexually abuse a woman over an extended period of time. 2) Malayalam cinema’s association of actors attempt to take back the prime accused in the shocking incident in which a fellow actor was abducted and sexually assaulted. Shame on you, Kerala.
The report of a gun?: The UN released a report on Kashmir, which the government rubbished, obviously. And why not? They do use locals as human shields. Again.
Just Unattar headache for India: The rupee breached 69 to the dollar, and we’re thrilled as we were saving up that headline for weeks.
Chipkokar, saale: Delhi wanted to cut 16500 trees. Citizens came together and said fugoff. Now the center and state are back to squabbling over ‘who gave clearance first’
Conditioning Air: The Power Ministry wants to make 24 degrees a default setting on ACs to help save power (don’t be skeptical, Japan tried it and it worked).
Not out of GSTation just yet: Just checking in: A year later, small businesses are still suffering from that shoddily implemented tax. And the government seems to have made a habit of shoddy implementation: The laudable-on-surface plastic ban is a demonetization waiting to happen.
US
Just ice, on the rocks: The longest-serving member of the US Supreme Court is retiring. What this means - alas, more conservative leanings towards abortion, gay right and the like. Interestingly, a day before, the Supreme Court upheld Trump’s travel ban - you know, the one that restricts immigration from 7 Muslim-majority countries, none of which include countries that actually terrorized the US?
Motorcycle diaries: Trump tried to bully the EU by saying they’d have to pay more for Harley-Davidsons. HD shrugged and moved their production abroad, adding to more job losses. Oops.
What’s the rush ya?: But also, Robert Mueller is said to be dropping the report anytime now. And to paraphrase Colbert, Trump might want to do everything to distance himself from Russia right now - which is why he’s going and setting up a summit with Putin himself. Gotta love this guy.
Around the world
Just deserts?: Algeria expelled 13000 migrants into the Sahara Desert :O
Putin Redux: Erdogan won in Turkey, again. Now with more powers than before.
Terror Firma: Need a quick refresher on why Africa is home to so many terror groups? The answer, as you might expect - is poverty and weak government.
Basher al Gassad: And oh yeah, Assad gassed his own people. With presidents like these, who needs vicious German chancellors…
Pole position: In this week’s #LawsYouDidntKnowExisted: You will no longer go to jail in Poland if you blame Poland for the Holocaust.
Toy-ko protocol: Of course Japan has a Hello-Kitty-themed bullet train.
Tech
Gabb-barred: There’s a giant mural that only ‘influencers’ are allowed to photograph.
Have a cookie: California has its own version of GDPR now. Unsurprisingly, all the big companies spent lots of time and effort to make this not happen - instead of using the same resources to actually, ya know, do something about that privacy thing?
Ad-vantage point: Facebook is going overboard in that ‘transparency’ thing - it’s going to reveal every ad, ever made by any brand, so your embarrassing copywriting efforts in 2012 will be online forever, for all to see!
High five!: The FDA approved its first cannabis drug!
Death kab for cutie?: While there is increasing clamour that the damned panda should just die, here comes along more Death of Cute: RIP Asimo the Honda robot!
Pharma la for success: Oh, look, Amazon is getting into pharma as well - wiping $17.5b off 8 companies in 1 day. Looks like some CEOs are going to be sick soon. Just as well that they know now where to order their meds from. Oops.
World Cup stuff
Seoul sisters: Last week Mexico fans apparently caused an earthquake. This week, they mobbed the Korean embassy and gave tequila shots to the consul-general, after his country knocked Germany out of the tournament, helping Mexico advance. Best.
Clean sheet: Then, Japan set an example for the rest of the world by cleaning up stadiums after their games. And fans of countries like Colombia and Senegal are providing masterclasses in… Just having a good time.
Nonsense e-comm by reputed companies section
Er, the New York Times wants you to combat fake news by buying a $300 tee.
Remember, in a dark world, Scandinavia is here to save us
The only way to pay for this ride in Finland is… Singing.
LinkedOut
Saudi Arabia lifted its ban on women driving. Here’s a fascinating ride along with one, with words of encouragement from male drivers. And here’s a video from a rapper celebrating her new right. If someone went into a coma in 2015, they would wake up to a world where a female rapper in Saudi Arabia put out a video of her new right to drive. Imagine that.
Check out the “last commercial space in India” - an India-Pakistan food truck right on the border.
Speaking of borders. The story behind the ‘crying girl’ photograph that came to symbolize everything that was wrong with the United States right now.
Interesting how there’s a lot of employee dissent in Silicon Valley about big companies doing shady things for the government. No?
You’ve all probably watched it, but how can we not plug Hannah Gadsby’s hour-long special Nanette on Netflix?
That’s it for this week. If you’d like to get in touch with us, reach us on Twitter (Tony | Chuck). We’ve seen a sudden influx of subscribers because we told people you can do this by just dropping us an email if you don’t want to use the link. You know we don’t spam, just look at all the errors that we are itching to correct after we send out each edition but can’t follow up on because WE DON’T SPAM. Go on then, subscribe already. What are you? Some kind of barbarian who likes potatoes in their biriyani?! Until next week, may you discover a word that you’ve stopped using for a while and use it again. A fuckton. Bye!