The Third Slip: Issue 52 - Lend me your year
Hello, Slippers! Welcome to The Third Slip - the weekly newsletter that has now completed one rotation around the sun! That’s right, we’re a year old now with issue #52 and a little over 400 subscribers (and what a fabulous year it has been). To mark this momentous occasion, we’ll briefly step out of character to try and make meaning of all this.
And we will do that by making a reference to a run-of-the-mill Malayalam movie, Ividam Swargamanu, in which the lawyer character played by Sreenivasan takes to the streets with a loudspeaker to speak about a social issue that pains his heart. His audience is non-existent except for the character played by Mohan Lal who is waiting to consult him about a case. When asked why he wastes his time and energy on a speech when there is no one listening to him, Sreenivasan says "If I just wanted to attract a huge headcount, I could have performed a cabaret."
Through the 52 issues, we’ve gained subscribers (and lost a few), and have foregone thousands of potential likes on Facebook with each throwaway joke here. And it’s been worth it (to us at least). We’re still going strong, which means that with each passing issue, we hope you'll write to us to tell us how cool we are (or what we can change) despite any concrete data points to indicate this.
At home
A farmal protest: What do you get when 30,000 farmers walk 180 kilometres over 7 days to table some basic demands ensuring there’s no disruption caused to the public? Very little press coverage. Because gentlemen don’t kisan tell. But, as the Kisan Long March reached Mumbai on Monday led by CPI(M) affiliated Akhil Bharatiya Kisan Sabha the state government saw red and assured the farmers that they would fix most of their issues including the implementation of the Swaminathan report. The powers that be usually extend favours only to those that sing their praises, but it’s refreshing to see them move from agree-culture to agriculture. Only time will tell if the promises made are indeed kept, but till then let’s just hope everyone gets along as we march on. Left-Right-Left.
Tie An-aadhaar Day: The Supreme Court indefinitely extended the 31st March deadline to link Aadhaar to mobile phones, banking, insurance etc till it pronounces judgment on the issue. But, it continues to be mandatory for availing benefits and services, as well as for opening new bank accounts. Meanwhile the UIDAI data is still subject to massive vulnerabilities even as authorities play the ostrich head in sand routine. So we have a voluntary data collection system that’s mostly mandatory and extremely vulnerable. That’s a big fail, much like the word Aadhaar which mostly spells haar (Has our Hindi improved in one year?).
Shout-out to the government: What happens when you apply B-School level Group Discussion justice as a guideline for the greatest democracy in the world? The Lok Sabha this week passed the Finance Bill with 21 amendments and the Appropriation Bill in less than 30 minutes without any discussion(!!), through a voice vote. Whatay efficiency no? The opposition cried foul, but they were reminded that 14th March was Pi day and irrationality is the essence of Pi. In addition, it was also pointed out that parliament anagrams to partial men.
Saffron sufferin’: There is no question that Yogi Adityanath is a polarising figure, but the poll-arising figures from the recent by-elections have left the incumbents red-faced. The BJP lost in both Gorakhpur (where the last time it lost is virtually unheard of) and Phulpur in UP - seats it had won in the 2014 elections by over 3 lakh votes each. Meanwhile, down south in Andhra Pradesh the TDP has quit the NDA and is moving a no-confidence motion in parliament which is likely to bother the BJP only as much as a tailender hitting one six before holing out off the next ball. It doesn’t matter much, but you don’t want to watch the replay on the big screen.
Wither Whither opposition?: Despite the massive loss of sheen for the incumbent NDA government, the current situation does not seem to suggest the presence of a viable alternative in 2019 with regional parties making the most meaningful opponents and Kejriwal on an apology spree to get defamation cases off his back. The only “big” party, Congress, still seemingly rudderless, has now issued a clarion call for cooperation with all like-minded parties. If Whatsapp jokes are anything to go by, there isn’t much hope of a meaningful challenge.
International
Gone to the Black Hole in the sky: The modern-day Einstein, Stephen Hawkins Hawkings Hawking left us this week on Einstein’s birthday. And did you know he was a cult figure in China (in a good way, of course)? Meanwhile, in India, union minister for science and technology claimed that Hawking once remarked that the vedas might have a theory superior to E = mc2 *eyeroll* and because actual science works differently from Whatsapp forwards, a founding trustee of the Stephen Hawking foundation clarified “LOL no bro, what are you smoking?”
USA
Rextermination: The latest in the revolving door that is the White House - the secretary of state, Rex Tillerson (who found out via a tweet!). Oh well, at least we got the year’s best tweet out of it.
Gunny back: As expected, the optimism around Trump’s support for gun-laws was unfounded as he backtracked on all his promises. Thankfully, students across the nation are prepared to give one big adolescent middle finger to authority. The Trump aura is fading - not just in the Vox-reading, Silicon Valley-watching coast, but right in the heart of ‘Trump county’ in Pennsylvania, where a Democrat won an election last week. Trump might have other things to worry - as his Organization was subpoenaed as part of the Russia-meddling inquiry (any guesses as to when Mueller will be fired?) AND a porn star who he might have had an affair with might go public with ‘confidential material’. Time to install graphic filter Chrome extensions.
May mean(s) business In what could have come out of Chapter 23 of a Jeffrey Archer novel, the Russians poisoned a British spy, and Theresa May, suddenly having found a spine, expelled 23 Russians and used pretty tough language. Leftist hero and Opposition Leader Jeremy Corbyn didn’t provide immediate support - leading to a strange week in British politics. Meanwhile, the Russians themselves are treating this in the same way they’re treating accusations of meddling in the US Elections - denying while stifling laughter. The British Royal Family said they would boycott the Russia World Cup, leading to someone on BBC Radio 4’s comedy podcast saying England generally boycotts the tournament after the second round anyway.
Meanwhile, world’s most famous judo champion, Putin has said he doesn’t care about election meddling - in the same tone in which a bulldozer says it doesn’t care about the building it just demolished.
That’s how eye-roll: Xi Jinping can now be President for life: a Bradmanesque 99.8% of the Party voted to abolish the ‘10 year limit’. Spare a thought for the 2 people who voted against. The country is also merging its media & culture ministries (imagine if they tried that stunt with BSchool committees). If nothing else, China is winning its war on pollution. Meanwhile, forget the ‘wink’ - a Chinese reporter’s eyeroll (at a fawning question to Now Lifetime Emperor Xi) is breaking the internet (or whatever whittled-down version of it they have in China).
Peace out: Apparently the Taliban is willing to negotiate peace in Afghanistan. And Kim wants to talk peace with Trump. But before you try to sell that bunker, here’s fresh news - Saudi Arabia - pioneer of new ways to harass women - says they’ll go nuclear if good chums Iran does. Yipee!
Business
Ae dil hai Musk-il: While Musk is solving the world’s problems, his own parking lot is a nightmare. So he’s searching for… a… Valet for Tesla. Also, for some reason, Elon Musk is hiring people from The Onion. No one has successfully peeled the layers of this story.
The chip is off the old block: Trump blocked what would have been the biggest merger in history: Singapore-based chip maker Broadcom, trying to buy US-based Qualcomm. While he cited protectionism, the actual threat is potential lack of innovation of monopolies.
Cryptocurrensheesh: No more Bitcoin advertising on Google and FB. Meanwhile, a New York town with cheap electricity has placed a ban on mining Bitcoins.
LinkedOut
Stephen Hawking: A brief history of him.
What would your face look like if you gave away personal information to this quiz? The Facebook - Cambridge Analytica story.
A riveting story of how kidnapped royalty became pawns in Iran’s deadly plot.
On Winston Churchill and how agriculture remains a precarious livelihood in India.
That’s it for issue 52 of The Third Slip. If you’re still reading this, wow you really need plans on a Sunday evening. Wait, no that’s us. What we mean to say is: Thank You! You are awesome. Why not spread some of your awesomeness to someone you know? Send The Third Slip to your friends. If you want to write to us, you can reach us on Twitter (Tony | Chuck) or tell us over email. Seriously, we keep refreshing it every 5 minutes in the hope that you’ll send a message. Okay, that’s a lie. We do it only every 10 minutes. Until next week, in the words of Stephen Hawking, “Remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet.” Bye!