The Third Slip - Issue 3: We are at least 500 metres away from a highway
Namaskaram
We are back with the third issue of The Third Slip, and if you have been away scuba diving in Havelock (welcome back Chuck), let’s wipe that smile off your face and get you reaching for the whiskey glass with all that’s been happening in the world this week. But first, something harmless...
People learn of the existence of the Turing Award
The Turing Award (not what Benedict Cumberbatch won for playing Alan Turing in The Imitation Game) gained mainstream popularity this week when, for the first time, we knew the name of the winner and understood what their contribution was. Tim Berner’s Lee won this year’s Turing award (popularly known as computing’s Nobel Prize) for inventing the world wide web way back in 1989. We did go through the list of previous winners to understand why it took so long for him to win it (who doesn’t love cat memes?) but it got too boring complicated. Apparently one of the criteria for the award is that the contribution should be of “lasting importance” and the jurors finally decided that if they don’t award the internet creator now, it might be too late because the internet is definitely destroying the world in 2018.
A-mazeing Grace
In a bid to cut down on drunk driving, the supreme court issued an order banning sale of liquor within 500 metres of highways. But like any economist will tell you, the unintended consequences of this move will be far greater - loss of jobs and revenue to name but a few. With such a blanket ban affecting most bars in Kerala, this one has come up with a 250m maze to circumvent the rule and keep the spirits high. Rumours suggest that this is the Hotel Keralafornia that legends speak of - because once you checkout, you have to drunk-negotiate a bloody maze to leave.
Hindutva brigade and food politics
While the hindutva brigade has decided it’s best to stay away from banning beef in the North East and Kerala (a BJP candidate seeking election actually said he will ensure supply of good quality beef if elected), it has taken the strange decision to go after fish in Bengal. Not just fish, the cultural attack is also on the one and only icon of Bengal - Saurav Ganguly Tagore. While it seems like a move that’s certain to backfire, there is no kind of hate that can’t be planted in people’s minds with relentless fake news and Whatsapp forwards.
Meanwhile, the Allahabad HC has said that the choice of food is part of the right to life and asked the UP government to ensure its bizarre crackdown does not deprive people of their livelihood or food.
Missing the point on “cow vigilantism”
Yet another Muslim man was murdered by “Gau Rakshaks” in Alwar earlier this week allegedly for smuggling cows. Most of the media reports then clarified that he was only a dairy farmer. The inference one reaches with such a narrative is that it would be okay for a mob to lynch a person if he was indeed smuggling cows or if he had had beef in his fridge in Dadri. Which should make us really angry. There is no question about this, it’s plain and simple murder but we have already been numbed into accepting that this is the new normal.
Indian youth is not woke
Just in case you assumed that the current mood of regressive thinking in India is largely because of the older, more conservative generation and that the future is bright because young India is educated, YOU WERE WRONG! Turns out, the youth is conservative AF. Most agree that death penalty should not be abolished, films that hurt religious sentiments should be banned and beef consumption is not a personal choice. They also oppose homosexuality and believe religion is more important than science. But their Snapchat game is on fleek tho. Have you seen their stories? It’s lit, fam.
Radar waking diva
Despite best efforts from a surprisingly ballsy Air India, it appears that they finally had to relent and allow Gaikwad to fly again. The 25-time slipper slapping sensation was unapologetic as ever when he addressed the parliament maintaining that he had done nothing wrong and thinking that he was a bird, claimed that it was his constitutional right to fly (probably based on the anagram of Ravindra Gaikwad - Radar waking diva). This was of course followed by the standard operating procedure of Indian democracy - Shiv Sena threatening that flights from Mumbai would be stopped and Air India lifting the ban on the classy constitutionalist.
Pepsi ad fiasco
It’s 2017 and brands know activism sells better than sex. Pepsi thought they should jump on the bandwagon with what is widely regarded as the stupidest move since Plaxico Burress literally shot himself in the leg. The bizarre, tone-deaf ad featuring Kendall Jenner and trivialising the race-related protests in the US. Pepsi defended it initially and finally recalled the ad after the audience, rightly, eviscerated Pepsi on social media. One suspects that the brief was to create an ad with great recall value.
Bonus - When Fanta made a Nazis were awesome ad.
Priyadarshan means "Love what you see (and copy it)"
The 64th national film awards were announced earlier this week by the jury led by Malayalam director Priyadarshan whose CV boasts of blockbuster hits in Malayalam starring Mohanlal, like Thalavattam (Copied from One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest), and Boeing Boeing later remade as Garam Masala in Hindi (copied from the movie Boeing Boeing from Hollywood). And in Bollywood he’s known for Akshay Kumar starrers such as Hera Pheri (adapted from the malayalam movie Ramji Rao Speaking), Bhool Bhulaiyya (adapted from Manichitrathazhu) etc.
What particularly raised the people’s eyebrow was the choice of best actor, going to Akshay Kumar for Rustom, and the Special jury award for Mohanlal for a bunch of middling performances (there were literally 4 films named and one excluded because it was directed by Priyadarshan himself). In his defence, Priyadarshan told us logically that Aamir Khan was not interested in awards anyway so why give him an award and also, reminded us that whataboutery is still the best strategy, by asking us why we had no questions when Ramesh Sippy chose Amitabh Bachchan and Prakash Jha chose Ajay Devgn. While a few deserving actors may have felt cheated, the person who seemed most distraught was The Undertaker who, the same week he retired, was reminded yet again of having been thoroughly beaten by national award winning Akshay Kumar.
LinkedOut
Trump bombs Syria
He will not let refugees from Syria anywhere near USA, but he can’t stand the sight of beautiful children dying in Syria. We don’t quite know what to make of it because John Oliver has not spoken about it yet. Will this mark a change in policy? Unlikely.
Fake News Update
How do you deal with the problem of Fake News? With a law, if you are Germany. They have placed the onus on the platform to kill fake news. All the obvious questions of clamp down of freedom of speech etc come up with not many answers.
Racism? What is that?
When ex BJP MP and editor of the RSS weekly, Tarun Vijay, appeared on a panel on the question of whether Indians were racist and replied with this gem “Why do we have the entire south - Tamils, Kerala, Karnataka, Andhra, Why do we live with them? We have blacks around us”. We have no words.
Mental Healthcare Bill in India
On a happier note, India has always been a laggard as far as understanding mental health issues are concerned and we seem to have made a move in the right direction. In a country where homoeopathy is considered legitimate medicine and, depression is attributed to laziness, this is a good start.
And thus we come to the end of another The Third Slip and beginning of another week. This week is bound to be better and if not, you can always choose not to watch the IPL. Are you playing a fantasy league? Do you have any other stories for us? Write to us.