The Third Slip - Issue 21: Every nuke and tyranny
The Third Slip - Issue 21: Every nuke and tyranny
Hello, and welcome to The Third Slip. A weekly roundup of some news from around the world with the occasional botched attempt at humour. We’re 21 issues in and we have been branded “left leaning liberals”. It’s 2017, so somehow that’s meant to be an insult. We are not sure how. To be perfectly clear, we are not anti-nationals we only have a problem with anti-rationals. We welcome debates, you don't necessarily have to hum-our tune. Let's dive into the cesspool of news...
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This week in anti-national libtard behaviour
Scientists across India went on a March for science, saying there’s a rising wave of unscientific beliefs and religious bigotry. Whatever gave them that idea?
What gave them that idea
The Narendra Modi government is ruminating on the idea of setting up a Cow Ministry. To paraphrase Ogden Nash: “The cow is of the divine ilk, say it with me votes we can milk”
Maharashtra education board has channeled their inner GRR Martin and wiped out all Mughals from their history textbooks. Mughal Morghulis.
Read it and Veep
The only people who are normally aware of the existence of the Vice President of India are quizzers, or students preparing for “General Knowledge” exams.Many of us found out the name of the Vice President of India this week as Hamid Ansari left his office at the end of his tenure. He had made a couple of dignified statements expressing his views about how Indian religious minorities are feeling insecure in the era of vigilantism, without naming any political party in particular. But, as reflected in the world today, indignation trumps being dignified and our venerable Prime Minister immediately poo-pahed him, calling him a Congress puppet.
Tragedy
The most depressing news of the week comes from Gorakhpur in UP where at least 30 children passed away in a state run medical college because of a shortage of supply of liquid oxygen. The same state where earlier in May, an exclusive ambulance service for cows was launched. While the mainstream media debates matters of national importance like how everyone should sing Vande Mataram all the time, the PR machinery is already underway to talk about how the deaths were not due to a shortage in oxygen supply - except, they are. This is a failure of government at every level. And given how unbelievably depressing the justifications from the other side have gotten, we have to echo this tweet.
Don’t count, you’re chicken
In July, Urjit Patel told us that the RBI still has not finished counting demonetised notes and it is unlikely that they ever will. But this week, the RBI announced its dividends to the government in the year ending June 2017 had halved to Rs 30,659 crore. That's way less than what was the expected figure for this year. The primary reasons for the massive drop are the handling cost of replacement of notes and the interest amount paid out to banks by RBI because of demonetisation. By any objective measure, this is an economic blunder of epic proportions, but then result-based reviews apply only to the managers of our favourite football club. Let’s all hail the Bold Moves and blame others for what has gone wrong.
The chopper gets the chop
He played with scissors, lived under a rock, and finally, the paper got served to him. Resident clown Pahlaj Nihalani has been removed as the chief of the CBFC.This is, a censor board Central Board of Film Certification cut that we approve of. Nihalani is being replaced by Prasoon Joshi, who one hopes will be a little more consistent, a little less trigger happy, and more importantly - sane. Sadly for us at The Third Slip, this means we have one less source of amusement to rely on. Sigh.
See if you can spot the parallel
South Indian cinema heroes (always male) have an almost blind following.So when writer Dhanya Rajendran said a Vijay (superstar, apparently) movie was lame, she swiftly earned the wrath of his online trolls - think of them as a cinematic right-wing loony fringe. What’s shocking is that Modi… sorry, Vijay chose to keep quiet and finally issued a weak statement saying ‘ya ya stop all this k’.
Apocalypse Update
The US government (not Trump)’s own scientists have themselves leaked a report (!) that climate change is affecting Americans, in “the most comprehensive climate change report”. How Trump will react is anybody’s guess - get out the popcorn (just kernels will do, natural heat will pop them in your hands only). Keep in mind, though, the dude who runs the EPA thinks climate change is a hoax, and Trump’s attitude has been MOAR COAL. So yeah.
Can’t spell Nuke without NK...
Trump threatened North Korea with fury, if they continued threatening the US, which is scary on several fronts - the scariest of which is ‘Donald Trump is actually not the most wacko leader on the planet’.
What is orange and sounds like a Parrot? The Cuckoo Carrot
He gets a folder of positive news about himself / ‘powerful looking’ screenshots from TV - twice a day. Laugh. Crie. Both,
And Trump finally said that America had an Opioid (drug) crisis. It’s disconcerting when one issue of TTS has two semi-positive pieces of news around Trump.
Around the world
When the social network you created is partially responsible for putting Trump in the White House, do you atone for it or do you use that to launch a campaign for the next presidency? Rumour mills have been rife with the possibility of Zuckerberg running for the post of POTUS in 2020. Here’s why.
‘Fake news’ is the political ‘dog ate my homework’.
Israel’s Ben Netanyahu found an easy way out of being accused of corruption and all that.
Biz
The big tech scandal of the week which seemed like a leaked plot from the next Silicon Valley (sorry, HBO!) was: a leaked Google memo made a strange case for anti-diversity and had some minor support internally. The employee has since been fired by Google, offered a job by Julian Assange, and has resulted in some anti-Google campaigns. Oh well, 2017.
Elon Musk is building a Hyperloop! (Pause: Wait, wasn’t he already doing that? Ans: No - he just came up with the idea and let others do what they want, he provided some space for testing and a prize. Now his Boring Company plans to use tunnels for the high-speed transport). Andheri East to West in 5 minutes? It’s possible!
While much of the auto world is looking to go electric, Mazda decides to zig a different zag by just making internal combustion engines more efficient, hence sending Carnot Cycle fans into raptures.
Mickey & Chill? Disney has decided to part ways with Netflix and start its own streaming service. This fragmentation is not good for people who might have to now pay for several services, especially since other studios might decide to follow suit.
Tech
CRISPR - the gene-editing technology - has been around for a while but is making lots of news recently. Recent success means we might be able to rear pigs for organ transplants using the technology. Now for the CRISP Bacon jokes. It’s easy to get excited about such tech, but hackers are one step ahead already, encoding malware onto DNA. Hot single strands in your area?
LinkedOut
Inside the world of Amazon’s secret brands
Here’s some I-Day irony for you: For all of the BJP’s ‘patriotism’, it would never celebrate the 75th anniversary of the Quit India Movement. Why? Because it was a Congressi idea, ofcorz.
It’s been dominating our timelines this week - but here’s the dark side of Sarahah
If you were in Mumbai on Wednesday, you either worked from home or got stuck in crazy traffic because of the Maratha march. But why? Read about their cause
There is a new penalty format in football (all ABBA puns have been done to death) - but it’s still not fair.
That's it for this week. Do you have some constructive feedback for us? Tell us on thethirdslip.sarahah haha no. You can tell us anonymously or otherwise via email. You can also reach us on Twitter (Tony, Chuck). Until next week, stay validated.