The Third Slip: Issue 190 - Habemus Hopem

(We have a new Hope)

Hello, Slippers! Welcome to The Third Slip - the weekly newsletter that is to news what an absentee ballot is to the US election. It is made by people who don’t want to step outside their house, it comes by mail, it arrives much later than the live version, and it makes Trump very unhappy.

This is issue 190! 190 for the mathematically inclined is a Happy Number. For the anagrammatically inclined, "One hundred ninety" is an anagram of this plausible headline in the aftermath of the US elections “Noted ninny, red hue end”. Yes, we hope it's a new beginning. So for the literally inclined, we've made a platform switch from TinyLetter to Substack. For first time readers, please excuse all this. Such absurd nonsense is the price of admission to read a summary of the news…

A case of the blues, to drive away the blues

There have always been some phrases we’d hoped to one day write in this newsletter. “Modi embraces secular values”. “Media freedom is on the rise in India”. “Nationwide ban on capsicum”. In this edition, we finally get to write one such thing.

Premier Fantasy League: Donald Trump lost the presidential election. Or to be more charitable, Joe Biden won it, the ultimate capping of a glittering political career that started as being the youngest senator of the country. For a while, Donald Trump was like that annoying friend of yours from the fantasy league who uses up all their substitutions midway through the league and racks up huge points and declaring himself the winner while making you question if your logical strategy would win in the long run. Thankfully, Biden did win. He will be ably assisted by Kamala Harris, the topmost post reached by an American woman (and the first black / Asian). Poetically, it was the late civil rights activist (and target of Trump’s ire) John Lewis’ district in Georgia, and the birthplace of American democracy, Philadelphia, that might have swung it for Biden. 

Post Script: It was a tense week. Like many others, we’re disappointed that ~50% of the country doesn’t mind Trump’s racism, fucked-up handling of a pandemic and general incompetence. It seemed like it was a race against time, and a time against race. But, phew, the mail in ballots came through and how. Reams have already been written about this, so let’s look at the future, especially as conservative networks and Trump’s once-allies themselves are, and his legal threats are quite baseless.

To think this is the end point for a better world would be to kid ourselves. But J Mathrubootham has taught us that one Kamalam and one "old man" can make us smile even during the most exasperating times.

Biden has one heck of a to-do list (mostly undoing the damage his predecessor did), the most important of which is dealing with a virus whose daily numbers look like if Bradman batted on Sri Lankan pitches. On Monday, Biden plans to unveil a task force for this, meaning as president-elect, he’ll probably do more than the sitting president. Here’s what his election means for a bunch of other things. Among the folks elected are two gay men, a trans person and many of colour. Things are looking up. Well, to be fair, after 4 years of Trump, that’s the only way they could have gone.

Catch 22: BTW, ‘red’ Florida chose to up the minimum wage, and ultra-liberal California voted in favour of proposition 22 to make sure gig workers continue to be treated like slaves. Some other states legalized weed, while Oregon went one step further saying cocaine and heroin are okay. Amidst much scrutiny, Big Tech stepped up and did a good job… Or didn’t screw up again, at the very least. 

Cap see kam: Much has been written about how America is on the decline. Whether the 46th President bucks that is to be seen. Given how little good news has been there over the past few years (capsicum production is only going up), we’re celebrating the reduction in impressions of those hideous red hate caps - as should anyone around the world who believes in fairness and truth. Good luck, Joe, and good fucking riddance, Donald Trump. 

Illustration by Harini Kannan

We will see you in quote: But what if he doesn’t leave on his own? 

“The United States government is perfectly capable of escorting trespassers out of the White House.”  - Andrew Bates, Biden spokesperson.

Ok there are other countries too 

Ballot Dance: The US wasn’t the only place with disputed elections this week. So many elections!!

Maar-my-man!: Well, at least those places have elections. Apart from abetting a genocide, Aung San Suu Kyi has stifled democracy in Myanmar. Gosh, you can’t even trust a Nobel Peace Prize winner these days.

Misery loves company: Well, at least those places will continue to have democracy. Pro-democracy protestors in Hong Kong were arrested. And there’s an Ethiopian civil war, an Israeli army bulldozed a Palestinian village, there’s a typhoon in the Philippines, ISIS sympathizers terrorised Vienna, you get the drift… 

Brazil mata ki Jair!: Jair Bolsonaro’s son, Flavio,  was charged with embezzling funds. So between father and son, they combine the best features of the BJP & Congress. Nice.

Ants aren’t gentlemen: Just as Jack Ma’s Ant IPO was preparing for the biggest IPO ever, it was stopped  by the Chinese government who probably got antsy that someone else might have lots of power. That’s a huge blow for China’s image, and honestly a little shocking - this is like Modi pulling Adani up.

Spotty FYI: Spotify asking musicians to pay for enhanced visibility seems a little sidey, and has rightfully gained it the ire of musicians world over.

Okay okay some good news now please

My grand gesture: Saudi Arabia (yes it’s not often they make it to the good news section) removes some stifling restrictions on migrant workers. 

New clear tech: They’re trying out fusion experiments, even as World Energy Outlook 2020 says solar is now the “cheapest electricity in history”.

India

Be mindful of your Peace and Queues: Lest we forget, today is the fourth anniversary of the “organised jhoot and legalised blunder” that was demonetisation. It’s an absolute shame that the geniuses who came up with this idea continue to enjoy popular support in our country. In an attempt to metaphorise the real state of democracy in India, Milind Soman and Poonam Pandey bared their wares in Goa, and had charges slapped against them. 

Foolish and Hungry: Not just that, it appears that India is on 94/107 in the Global Hunger Index. This without even factoring COVID in. Don’t look now but India’scovid cases are rising. 

Putting the Haar in  Har Har Modi in Bihar: According to exit polls, the NDA is all set to lose yet another state election. This time in Bihar, where for the first time we may see the Holy Trinity of Chief Ministers with Thejaswi Yadav completing the father, mother, son triangle. Meanwhile, Amit Shah is focussing on WB but, there seem to be cracks within Bengal BJP.

Goes Swami: How many tubelights does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one if he happens to be an Arban Legend apparently. Arnab Goswami was (randomly) arrested over chargesof abetting the suicide of an interior decorator from 2018. Amusingly, it became political as BJP suddenly showed support for freedom of speech, and disgust for fascism etc (we don’t know, they probably feel guilty everytime they masturbate also). There’s no doubt that he shouldn’t be in jail just to satisfy the state’s machismo. We mean, he’s been subjected to this only because he’s technically a journalist but still, we’re not holding our breath for the ruling dispensation in the country to become free-speech defenders.

Go Goa Gone!: Goa’s forests suffering because of development projects. The wonderful Goa that we know and love might soon fall prey to the JCB juggernaut of capitalism. Time to dig up those photos from your archives and post on Insta stories with captions in solidarity to feel better.

Hey there! I am UPIing WhatsApp: WhatsApp has managed to get into the UPI payments framework in India. Meanwhile, in other minimum governmnete rules, NPCI wants to cap UPI players’ share of transactions to 30% ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

Highway or the my way?!: If there was one BJP minister we wouldn’t mind hanging out with, it’d be Nitin Gadkari (or the version he projects). At a recent inauguration, instead of empty slogans and platitudes, said he was ashamed the NHAI project took this long to complete. One wonders if his masters were so candid…

LinkedOut

• Some say Modi is like a US President. Oh, if only.

• Is linguistic nationalism on the wane in India? A terrific read.

• How algorithms make economic inequality worse.

• Nice evolution of the internet for US Presidential elections

• The Economist calls Aditya Puri of HDFC Bank the best banker in the world. A profile.

• If there’s one good thing that Trump did - and it’s Scroll saying this - is that the US doesn’t need to be the world’s policeman anymore.

That’s all for this week. If you’d like, you can get in touch: Instagram (Chuck | Tony), Twitter (Chuck | Tony), email. And again, if you REALLY like us and can afford to, consider supporting us on UPI, Instamojo or Patreon. Until next week, may you meet a friend after ages and realise that you love them for their mind, because let’s face it, they look way different now. Bye!