The Third Slip: Issue 18 - Ewwgenics - what happens when two losing horses mate to create a newsletter
Hello! A special welcome to all the new subscribers of The Third Slip. We wanted to welcome each of you personally, but a long list of 3 names makes it boring for everyone else. Since you’re new to this, there is only one thing we can guarantee you - disappointment. Is that because of the state of the world news or also because of the quality of our writing? That is left as an exercise for the reader.
Home
What’s the new Saif word? Eugenics.
As always, let’s begin with some Bollywood. (Newcomers, this is funny because neither of us cares about Bollywood and we never talk about it. That exercise is beginning to look easier by the sentence isn’t it?).
It all began last Sunday at IIFA 2017 when Karan Johar, Varun Dhawan, and Saif Ali Khan decided it would be fun to do a “nepotism rocks” joke and punch down on Kangana Ranaut in the process. While it was an off-colour joke for which Karan and Varun apologised, Saif Ali Khan decided to stand by it and told us that it was not about nepotism, it was about Eugenics. A word last used in Nazi Germany and one that (we hope) Saif has no clue about, but he used anyway like a south Indian thinking the word khud-kushi means self-satisfaction (embarrassing memory, don’t ask). He then went on to write another baffling open letter where he tried to tell us that “Eugenics means well-born”, one which elicited a measured, mature response from Kangana Ranaut. Phew. This is why we stay away from Bollywood.
Politics
One might expect the authors to be cynical about Ramnath Kovind’s elevation as BJP Puppet Indian president. It was definitely his being a Dalit career as a lawyer that got him the job. Surely the BJP’s intentions were only to quell the flames of gau rakshaks killing Dalits further the representation of a historically marginalized community. Why else would they propose someone who in 2010 said Islam and Christianity were alien to India was on IIM Calcutta’s board of directors? But cynical we authors shall not be.
The good thing about a government promoting yoga is that it improves its flexibility. Like being open-minded and liberal enough to have different views on privacy with respect to Whatsapp (citizens need privacy!) to Aadhaar (lolz all your data are belong 2us). The sad part is that we as a country are debating if privacy is fundamental right, and still failing to grasp the concept of consent. Please can we have an incognito mode for Aadhaar?
You might remember that there was some trouble on the India-China border. Now here’s the strange thing - India is dealing with China with calm, measured diplomacy rather than jingoism. One can only assume that’s because there are no political points to be gained. “Go back to China” just doesn’t have a ring to it.
Mild relief inducing news now: Madhya Pradesh government is not planning to have consulting astrologers in hospitals as was reported earlier. It is only planning to add “established sciences such as vastu and astrology” to a yoga centre. The relief is very mild.
The-bar-is-so-low-that-anything-is-heartening news now: The parliamentary committee headed by a BJP MP has criticised the government’s draft transgender bill and advocated for LGBT rights.
Mayawati resigned from the Rajya Sabha and while it might have political ramifications, our only thought was - you can do that?!
How do you deal with a concerned citizen who raises a voice against the bad condition of the roads you are supposed to oversee? Obviously by investigating the complaint and fixing the issue, right? This is why you are not suitable for political office, you idiot! This is 2017, and there are so many ways to shut down dissent - like filing a notice against them for breeding dangerous mosquitoes at home. Well done BMC. But as Hoezaay points out, there aren’t any potholes on Mumbai roads. LOL.
For all the political gloom in the country, there are two genuinely bright spots: Massive strides taken in going green (solar-powered trains!) and the performance of the women’s cricket team in the Women’s World Cup. In case you haven’t seen Harmanpreet Kaur’s jaw-dropping 171* in the semi finals against the most dominant team in Women’s cricket, here you go. If you’d like Jarrod Kimber’s words describing the action for you, take this. This is a defining moment for Women’s cricket in India as they take on England in the finals today.
World
Uruguay became the first country to oversee marijuana sales, but don’t buy your flight tickets to Montevideo any time soon - foreigners aren’t allowed to buy. Cannabis honest? Weed like to jointly apologise for crushing your heart, that’s not how we roll. Hashtag sorry.
In advertising, an agency very often presents outlandish ideas to win the pitch. The problem occurs when the client calls their bluff after the win and asks them to do it. In case you’re not lucky enough to work in advertising, then just look at the Brexit negotiations - they should give you a sense of what we’re talking about. Unclear terms of leaving, trade discussions on hold, citizenship issues, and the 60b Euro cost of leaving. Sometimes it’s best to lose the pitch. Fun.
South Korea has outlandish ideas (K-pop, poop-themed cafes), but their latest could be the maddest of the lot - they actually want to have civil conversation with North Korea! NK hasn’t replied. Maybe the message went to their ‘other’ folder?
L’Orange
Let’s face it, we’ve all had women not wanting to talk to us because we’re obnoxious, narcissistic, and perpetually horny. No? Just me then. And Trump. It turns out Japan’s first lady who sat next to Trump avoided talking for 2 hours by pretending to not know English. Genius! Sadly, the more nuanced argument claims that she probably didn’t speak to Trump because she’s not completely comfortable speaking English and wanted to avoid any faux pas. We’d like to think it’s a bit of both.
Trump tried to be sly, meeting Putin for a second time, unofficially. That might have worked better if he didn’t do it in full view of all other world leaders. Nobody knows what they discussed, but it’s unlikely to be what each other’s dietary preferences / favourite IPL team was. The US and Russia are on opposing sides in the Syria battle and now the US might be backing down, which is a bad thing. Putin with Assad is the worst combination since auto-tune with ambitious parents, and Trump’s ‘support’ is the last thing Syria needs.
What if Trump is actually a sort of surrogate president for other countries? Startup jobs are moving to Canada for instance. It’s awesome, actually - previous American presidents were all about improving the state of one country - this one is actually improving everyone around it. If the golden shower scandal is anything to go by, we know Trump is not shy of trickle-down economics. Also, research shows that a great way to boost the economy is… Let in immigrants. Truly blessed.
And with respect to Obamacare, Trump is now following an ‘if you can’t better it, destroy it’ policy, after his version collapsed after losing Republican support. Now Obamacare is more popular than ever, even among those who hated it. All in all, despite the best efforts of Biswa, Kanan, AIB and co, the best comedy of each week still remains the US Government.
Trump says there have been more jobs since he came in. While the jury’s still out on that, one place that’s seeing headcount reduction is the White House itself. Several important seats are unfilled, and people are leaving, several, like Attorney-General Jeff Sessions, might. But the latest two to write the mail to HR: Office of Government Ethics (stop laughing!) director Walter Shaub Jr and Press Secretary Sean ‘bumbling speaker’ Spicer. The former - because, and the latter - as he didn’t like Trump’s choice of Comms Director, Anthony Scaramucci (basically a slick talker and marketing dude, and a scathing review of that along with the week’s best headline here). Moochie, by the way, should fit right in:
And lastly, Trump was interviewed by the NYT. Nothing happened, except we got a transcript that could be given to history students as a “Find all errors here” exercise (30 marks).
WTF of the week
China is banning Winnie the Pooh because he (it?) resembles President Xi Jinping. Really.
Is news in 2017 really depressing? Are robots closer to being sentient beings? If you answered yes to both, we might have an explanation for why a security robot drowned itself. We’re not sure if he was called Marvin the Paranoid Android.
Tech
Remember Google Glass? It’s back. But only for one half - the enterprise audience where it has actual uses, and far from skeptical B2C reviewers. You could say the Glass is half full. Or half empty.
And if you haven’t had enough of feeds, Google introduced one as well - taken from search history. Yet another reason to use Incognito mode when, er… you know… browsing for some videos that give khud-kushi self-satisfaction. Let’s not make a big tissue out of this.
Biz
Netflix might not be doing too well in India, but it’s crushing it elsewhere - it’s added 5m subscribers and it’s currently a stockholder’s darling.
LinkedOut
Even the biggest Nadal fan will tell you there’s something broken deep inside you if you can’t find beauty in Federer’s game. He conquered his 19th Grand Slam last Sunday, and here’s Rohit Brijnath’s most wonderful piece.
It’s not Facebook you’re addicted to, it’s the drama claims this article in Quartz. Is there pleasure in watching other people bumbling along in their lives?
The North-East is ignored so much that even hipster bikers visit it only after they go to Leh-Ladakh. And let’s face it the only fact we know about the region involves Cherrapunji. Read this two part series about floods in Assam, where failure to build and repair basic infrastructure is causing havoc.
There’s been much talk about women’s cricket since India has stormed into the finals of the world cup. Jarrod Kimber tells us how to watch the women’s game.
That’s it for this week. You have successfully attained disappointment. Would you like to tell us something? Reach us on Twitter (Tony, Chuck). If you'd like to write a bit more, you can email us. Also, we now have 250 subscribers (yay!). If you enjoy The Third Slip, why not pass it along to a friend who might have a similar taste? Till next week, bye!