The Third Slip: Issue 176 - Nike kar, dariya mein daal
Hello, Slippers! Welcome to The Third Slip - the weekly newsletter that’s like the latest Nike ad. It is composed of two distinct halves that somehow work together, it’s a montage of headline grabbing events from around the world, and while the message it sends is cool and all, it’s really the editing that’s amazeballs. LOL no wait, we stretched it too far. Hey editor, scratch out that last bit na? Just do it.
This is issue 176, published on 2nd August, 2020. Or as it is better known, friendship day! Accordingly, this issue of TTS has been designed such that if you print it out and cut it into horizontal pieces, it will create exactly the number of friendship bands as the number of friends you have. We would encourage you to not try it because your friends are at home, and why waste paper? Instead, send TTS to all your friends to remind them how annoying you can be. And now, the news...
Crore-hona virus
Peak yeh aaya hai kya?: This week in India, we reached the peak point on the curve when we hit 15 lakh "Here's the 15 lakhs he promised" jokes. But in reality, our peak is very far away and we could have 100m cases in 6 weeks. Modi for some reason claimed that his decisions saved India from the worst but maths (and facts) say otherwise. As does his Home Minister Amit Shah, who tested positive for Covid and asked people in contact with him to self-isolate. Sadly for Indian democracy, the isolation of those close to Amit Shah will last only 14 days.
You’ll never vaccine alone: While four vaccines are kinda close to becoming reality (alas, Patanjali is not one of them), vaccinating all of India could take 2 years. That is, if countries can stop squabbling and hacking research and cooperate. Meanwhile that seaweed extract is outperforming Remdesivir. Stand by for takes that make sense to us on “Does this mean the end of Sushi as we know it.”
Frontline worriers: The kin of medical workers who passed away are struggling to collect insurance money. And it seems 90% of India’s workers are at risk of falling into poverty according to the WHO. Meanwhile, migrant labour from Odisha in TN are glad to have missed the train, now that factories are running again. So much for that rural development dream we were hoping for!
Ghoom barabar ghoom: Even effing North Korea has reported a confirmed covid case, and cases are rising in places in which the virus was stemmed - Vietnam, Australia, Japan, Spain. And Trump’s NSA also tested positive. This virus, like an average Bollywood earworm will get you eventually before being consigned to the dustbin of history in about 6 months’ time.
Good news
Snake,oil trending down: Demand for trustworthy news is up and no, we don’t just mean subscribers and patrons for The Third Slip. And, one of Rupert Murdoch’s sons quits News Corp, parent company of FOX News, over editorial views. Meanwhile, the oil age is coming to an end and with it, the shadiness of certain Mid-East countries. Yknow.
Fight of flight: Airlines are suffering now of course, but they are likely to get greener.
Attribution attrition: Still, only 10-20% of household contacts of a confirmed COVID-19 case become infected. So, this virus is basically like an influencer.
World news
Old men for no country: For some reason, schools are reopening and surprise surprise there is a positive case on the very first day. Will kids socially distance? Obviously not, unless the space between your underwear and its elastic band as someone pulls a wedgie is considered enough distance. Nothing seems crazy in a country where the ones running it are hell bent on making it implode. This week, a US Senator called slavery a necessary evil, while Trump tries to delay the elections. Ironically, FOX News might end up making him lose. On the other side, Biden is set to announce his VP pick next week.
Stars bungled banner: Canada doesn’t want to open borders to US :P And the US image has taken a thrashing - we now have it officially from Gallup. Germany and Merkel, on the other hand…
Put in what you want, where you want: Trump - Putin something happened with Trump admitting he won’t stand up to ten-time shirtless leader of the world award winner Vladimir Putin, but at this point... who cares (when TTS stops giving a fuck about what Trump did with Putin, that’s when you know shit’s bad)
Planet in the red: 25M jobs could be created by just decarbonizing the economy. In the US alone.NASA’s MARS Rover is still happening, China also sent one up to explore Mars.
Shock and aww, so cute: Malaysia’s former PM was found guilty for a big scandal and got a 12 year sentence. Imagine that! In less surprising news from around the world, Hong Kong barred pro-democracy candidates from taking part in the election, there are bad floods in Bangladesh and protests in Russia. And no one really cares.
Tech talk: Big Tech testified and got grilled but come on, nothing’s really going to happen soon. Still, it shows that Big Tech CEOs ain’t invincible. Fantastic summary here. Anyway, a day after the grilling, all four companies killed it with their earnings.
At Home
Ayyo-dhya I owe ya: In groundbreaking news, Modi and his gang are set to carry out bhoomi puja in Ayodhya even as a Ram Janmabhoomi priest (and the 16 cops protecting him) tested positive. When? Why, on the anniversary date of J&K going into darkness - a year in, and opposition leaders are fully free while also being under house arrest. Meanwhile, in Schrodinger land, LK Advani has both been invited and not invited to the ceremony in Ayodhya. My temples are hurting.
Jet set, no: And finally, the Rafale is here, yay. With fewer jets and higher cost than originally envisioned it will strengthen our air force like the tipping of the whiskey bottle by a bartender when you click your tongue and ugly-wink your eye to ask him to 'top up my drink na, we’re friends after all'. But, at least Ravish Kumar has used this as an example to tell us how to report the Rafale deal like a proper patriotic news channel.
Educated gussa: A new National Education Policy said all the right things. But mostly because said right things have been said since 1948. We’re surprised there’s no catchy acronym though. Read the more experienced Peri Maheshwar’s take here. And hey, nothing with the current dispensation is complete without doing dumb things like avoiding English till class VI, and focussing on Sanskar and Sanskrit etc.
Illustration by Harini Kannan
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LinkedOut
We’ve declared the death of enough things. Let’s now focus on making some things alive. Nice uplifting piece.
The fascinating story of a possible Nazi spy who directed a movie in Malayalam in 1949 and then vanished.
A not-so-swift but lovely read about the mysterious life of swifts (birds).
How to behave during a pandemic - the scientific view and the “outsider experts” who are actually driving behaviour.
That’s all for this week. If you’d like, you can get in touch: Instagram (Chuck | Tony), Twitter (Chuck | Tony), email. And again, if you REALLY like us and can afford to, consider supporting us on UPI, Instamojo or Patreon. Until next week, may you experience the joy and relief of catching a just-washed glass bowl as it slips out of your hand.