The Third Slip: Issue 169 - Racial Recognition
Hello, Slippers! Welcome to The Third Slip - the weekly newsletter that’s like Fleets on Twitter. It’s not an original idea, is done in better formats by others (yes we know you cheat on us with shiny new newsletters on Substack okay, hmph), you view it only because it pops up on your timeline, you forget about it as soon as you see it, but its creators keep harping about it like it’s a big deal.
This is issue 169, or as you math wizards call it 132. And much like the product of two just-teens coming together, this is going to be genuinely awkward, unnecessarily angry, and unintentionally funny. Let’s go...
Time against race
Black is the new Black: What takes forever to get going, but when it does it happens very quickly? No, not a Dhoni innings, but the righful outrage for racial justice. After several previous stutters, this time it feels different. It is mainstream. From Tiktoks about systemic racial bias in healthcare, to protests all over the world.
Statues check: Statues of racist enablers - Columbus, Colston & Lepold - were torn down and one of Churchill (he of needless Bengal famine causing fame) was boarded up (“Now Is a Bad Time to Be a Racist Statue” as GQ put it). The U.S. confirms its first black Air Force chief of staff, tech companies are putting together plans to support black-owned businesses, and fans of BTS raised $1m. NASCAR bans confederate flag & other leagues finally took steps, well after Colin took a knee. The Navy & Marine Corps also banned the c-flag. On the way out are CrossFit’s founder (bad choice of words), and NYT’s op-ed chief (bad choice of op-eds). There are small stories too. A ‘Karen’ called the cops on ONE white guy protesting. So… Naturally, the next ‘protest’ was better-attended. A black couple got married during a protest!
Columbus reaches new normal
Adaptation of Landing of Columbus by John Vanderlyn by Harini Kannan
That’s not cricket: Reverberations are being felt around the world. A mining company’s plan to demolish indigeneous sites in Australia drew protests, and India’s cricket fraternity is facing criticism over their silence of Darren Sammy’s ‘Kalu’ episode. EPL players are showing support. Spotify is boosting black talent. Jeff Bezos is shaming idiots who go ‘All Lives Matter’.
Dark side of the moon: All this started because of the brutal killing of George Floyd. This week, particularly pivotal, hosted his funeral. Poignant.
Other things
Sand in the lines
Busy week for borders - not the 1997 movie or the ex-Aussie captain, but real ones. India & China reach an accord (But are still fighting? Who knows). India reiterates civilizational ties with Nepal - and maybe that’s why the latter gleefully included part of our territory in their new map. (Nepal! Nepal! Nepal is threatening India. That’s as unexpected and earth shaking as Dwayne Leverock of Bermuda taking a stunner at first slip to snare an Indian batsman.) Meanwhile, Libya might be partitioned. The Koreas are katti with each other again. We knew history books needed changing, but geography too? Damn.
Shah mat...
… the word which, as the knowledgeable readers of TTS know, is the origin of “Checkmate” in Chess. But, did you know the phrase “shah amit” refers not just to one who is an expert at chess, but also proficient in magic? First, you take an ordinary something, like hate. Then, the magician does something extraordinary with it such as infect 1.3 billion people with hate, and then disappears. At this point, some even contemplate that the magician is sick or something. In reality, this is the time when the nation is in the grip of a deadly virus, so there’s no real politicking to do so the magician was just resting. Superb misdirection. But, that’s not enough. A great magician makes that ordinary hate reappear and sends his audience into rapture, just in time for elections in Odisha, Bihar, Bengal etc. With mind blowing catchphrases like “We have fallen short on Covid-19, but what has the opposition done?” Thank God, our saviour is in good health and back. Time to show those Ghuspetiya from China and Nepal what a real leader is made of. As the patriot’s favourite line goes “Doodh maango, kheer denge. Hatemonger, cheer denge”.
Smile and waive, boys.
Trump is having rallies in states where covid cases are spiking, but making his supporters sign virus waivers. Oh and he chose to have a rally on a day particularly significant to the black community, because nothing screams “appease white nationalists” like a giant orange middle finger.
Horror Putter & The Monthly Blooding Prints
Somehow JK Rowling found time to offend transgenders with a “people who menstruate” reference. The internet tried to explain to her why she was wrong. But then she doubled down, just because. Like they say, Rowling stoned gathers no loss.
Some good things
Roaring success: The Gir lion count has improved to 674. This does not take into account the two alpha lions from Gujarat who are running the central government.
Du jour na list: Nidhi Razdan quits NDTV to go work for Harvard University. Good news for her anyway, who can blame her?
Sweet China music: In a high kick to the face of Chinese hegemony, a city in Taiwan overwhelmingly voted to remove its pro-China mayor
Slip-sloppers
More in fake testimonials written by our top fans(!).
“I read TTS at work on Mondays and I love it. Once though, I made a copy-paste error. A fellow libtard friend got a study on the brand hofestedes of various OTC products, and a confused pharma client called and asked why I sent him a terrible pun regarding Trump’s impeachment. Lesson learnt, I’ll now read it at night” - Nirav
“I read my first TTS in the middle of a Marathon. I had almost given up halfway and really needed something to keep me going and remembered a friend had recommended this newsletter. It immediately made me stop, take stock of the world, and give up running all together. And taught me the value of understanding the sunk cost fallacy. Afterall, in the long run we’re all dead. TTS just taught me how to Nipps it in the bud. Would highly recommend it to anyone who feels like posting motivational quotes on Instagram.” - Steve Nipps
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Corona Corner
On the um... right track: If you as an Indian were feeling ignored when the rest of the world was being ravaged by the virus, fear no more for we are not just zipping up the charts, but are likely to be #1 soon - in a field dominated by countries led by far-right idiots who are more concerned about hanging on to power and their image - be it Trump & Modi getting ready to rally again, Bolsonaro calling in the military, and Putin doing… Whatever.
Numb and number: Maharashtra itself has outdone the whole of China. China itself has daily highest number in 2 months. All that ‘how we handled’ PR doesn’t seem too sound now does it?
Ridden by bed: If anyone in your circle is being complacent, these private hospital rates should help. But that’s if you’re lucky enough to even find a place in one - Delhi’s hospitals after all are now only for residents. How is that even legal? Well, welcome to 2020.
That’s the way the cookie crumbles: In a further reminder of how the poor and immigrants have been worst affected in India, Parle G announced record sales.When will all this end? Realistically, a long time, writes a disease modeling expert. Oh and the first vaccine might not be enough.
Good news
Kiwi No. 1: NZ eradicates covid, ends social distancing and sports are on. Yes!
Keep calm and carrier on: WHO now says spread through asymptomatic carriers is rare. On the other hand, these guys also told us there was no need for masks a couple of months back. So, covid knowledge on average is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
Are you getting A NY?: New York’s official state guidelines for dating & sex: no Kissing and get ‘a Little Kinky’. There’s no facing each other or intimacy, and masks still need to be on. Like they say, what doesn’t kill you - make love with stranger.
Hind sight in 2020: S&P is bullish on India (but former statistician says 50m will lose jobs). Around the world, Sikhs are still being awesome. Meanwhile, the SC said migrants who walked should not be punished. Wow that’s a low bar. And, Chhattisgarh pwned the virus while India’s recovered count exceeded active cases. Well, kind of. But don’t worry, India’s administration is focusing on: Renaming cities in TN, putting up TVs in forests for digital rallies, 100 foot statue in Bangalore. This week summed up nicely in a tweet
That’s all for this week. If you’d like, you can get in touch: Instagram (Chuck | Tony), Twitter (Chuck | Tony), email. And again, if you REALLY like us and can afford to, consider supporting us on Instamojo or Patreon.
Until next week, just as you drive your car inside your complex to keep the battery alive, may it rain so that it gets auto-cleaned as well. Bye!