The Third Slip: Issue 167 - Can WeTransfer To Another Planet?
Hello, Slippers! Welcome to The Third Slip - the weekly newsletter that’s like India’s Covid strategy - we were ahead of the curve to begin with, we tried our hardest to sound serious, but eventually after a couple of months we were like “Screw it, enough with all this discipline and trying to bring about change and all. Laughter is the best medicine”
This is issue 167. That number, of course, represents the number of runs VVS Laxman scored in Sydney in 2000, an iconic innings that represented change for Indian cricket and his own career. We won’t lie, we were hoping that our issue 167 would be one that marked a positive change for the world, or at least India. The only change we’re going to get, alas, is offices needing to now migrate to Google Drive (unless Patanjali develops cloud computing) as WeTransfer is now banned. We don’t even care why - because it’s been a Very Very Sucky week. Let’s tell you why.
A global pandemic for apocalyptic news? How April 2020 of you.
So the “good” news this week is that… Other things are SO bad that the coronavirus could be relegated. No, seriously - there are at least five news-pieces that could have dominated the news any other week. Strap in. We’ll try to make this quick, if not painless.
Sigh-clone!: You can use this exasperation and replicate it for all the news this week. Our tour of pain starts in the Bay of Bengal, where Amphan has wrecked the Sundarban.
Locust of control: Then we visit Central/Western India where the worst locusts swarm in 25 years chose now to wreak havoc. How much? In one day, a modest swarm could destroy the food of 35k people. Meanwhile, Rajasthan shrinks relief, and Arnab blames Pakistan, no really. Like they say - farm is temporary, crass is permanent.
Crouching tiger, sudden dragon: Then we take a small detour to Hong Kong where China has approved a national security law for Hong Kong to bring in rule by fear while the rest of the world is distracted. End of an era, and chilling times ahead in that region. By which we mean, you can’t chill there anymore. Um... you get it.
Borderline comedy: Before we end with the US, there’s an India - China border skirmish which almost seems like a comic distraction compared to everything else. Actually we shouldn’t say anything about this lest we cross a line.
A lock-work orange: And finally, the US. It was a high bar to cross, but this might have been their worst week in recent years. The big news of course, is the brutal killing in Minneapolis of another black man in white cop hands (or knee, in this case). This led to many protests, the President tweeting something violent, Twitter needing to finally put his words behind a warning (which obviously greeted an executive order). Phew. In any other week, pulling funding from schools allowing transgender athletes would have been the major news, but this week? Just an intermission. After all, this week started with the headline, “On weekend dedicated to war dead, Trump tweets insults, promotes baseless claims and plays golf”. Biden. Please. Win.
Hope India: But hey, it’s not all gloom and doom! Many companies drop ads from OpIndia, Costa Rica legalizes same sex marriage, Sikhs are still being awesome, SpaceX became the first private company to launch astronauts to space, and Jacinda Ardern couldn’t let a small earthquake stop her! And… India suspects a pigeon is a Paki spy. You can’t blame them for this. Because, all is fair in dove and war.
Locust Standi
In between all this, Modi sarkar 2.0 completed one year and they tom-tomed their achievements, not with a press conference, not with some task for one minute, not with a radio podcast equivalent, but… make sure you sit down for this… with a letter. TBH we didn't think they were capable of this much amount of shame also. But mother nature provided the perfect metaphor to celebrate the anniversary with a locust invasion of India…
Illustration by Harini Kannan
High five to some awesome slippers!
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Corona Corner
Count up, but countdown: Ok, so here’s the hard truth. Despite cherry-picked stats, despite the world’s harshest lockdown, India’s doing very very badly. On Sunday, 31st May as we write this, India reported 8,000 cases in a single day. But it has moved into a phase where nothing is permitted, but everything is allowed. Or, as we call it in the corporate world - notice period. We’re not alone in the developing world, with Latin America now a hotspot.
Train of thought: But let’s come back to India. It’s not about the coronavirus anymore, but how India’s cities are treating its poor. If the image of a toddler trying to wake up its dead mom at a Bihar railway station didn’t move you, don’t forget to renew your Postcard News subscription. Of course, many didn’t make it even that far, dying in the trains itself. The Congress tried to make some noise. The Supreme Court finally asks the government to take steps for migrants, ordering free transport. Even as some of them sold life possessions to buy a ticket for a flight that was ultimately cancelled and some trains landed up in the wrong destinations. To which, our railway minister helpfully said - Don’t take shramik trains if you’re in distress. What? Don’t look at us. We’ve got nothing to top that joke.
One track mind: But thankfully the BJP is taking full cognizance, and taking appropriate steps, such as arresting CAA protestors, trying to topple the Maharashtra government, vilifying Muslims further and “those harming the country’s morale”, destroying a Kerala film set, and tom-toming 370/Ayodhya as major achievements during the first year of Modi 2.0. The SC too, is doing its part, entertaining a petition to change ‘India’ to ‘Bharat’ in the constitution.
Neww normal: BTW Patanjali is also doing vaccine trials. Y’know what, fuck it - we hope they succeed. Oh and - why not - bioterrorists are getting ideas.
LinkedOut: Some good things we read this week
Sid Varadarajan’s scathing, depressing review of Modi 2.0’s first year.
Migrants are more disappointed than angry at Modi.
But yes, AI in healthcare is accelerating
Need therapy after all that? You could do worse than re-watching Laxman’s seminal 167 twenty years ago.
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