The Third Slip: Issue 166 - Aisle be back
Hello, Slippers! Welcome to The Third Slip - the weekly newsletter that’s like the middle seat in an airplane. It makes you look at the immediate world around you with contempt, makes you wonder how so much can be crammed into such little space, and really, you get into it only when there are no alternatives available.
This is issue 166. 1 6 6, of course, is how the pizza you made is scored by you and the other two inhabitants in your house on a scale of 1 to 6, 1 being the highest. This is consistent with the findings of behavioural economists who postulate that you tend to overvalue the pizza you made from scratch. It’s called the endoughment effect, apparently. Did that elicit a “che che” reaction from you? Well, ek che che is also 166 only. Okay, okay, we’ll get on with the news...
Corona Corner
It’s the economy class, stupid: What does India do when active cases continue to increase to Iran-levels and the curve is not flattening? Open up domestic flights, of course! Meanwhile, brace for almighty confusion as states still have a say in who is allowed into their borders even as flights take off and land during lockdown. Don’t worry though, the health ministry has stopped regular briefings now. So we can all pretend like the pandemic has gone away. Here on out, it’s not going to be ‘number of deaths’, but the death of numbers.
What goes down, must come up!
Illustration by Harini Kannan
What goes up must come down AKA Vaccine and Waning: In some much needed good news, Moderna’s vaccine showed some signs of early success. Even with limited data available, it was enough to make its stock take a quantum jump, promptly triggering a sell off from its executives which then made its stock price fall again. Don’t you just love the smell of wild speculation in the morning? Anyway, it’s good that the vaccine race is well and truly on.
WHOdunit?
Not an easy time to be the folks who we’re all supposed to be paying attention to. Trump threatens to cut WHO’s funding saying it’s too close to China (which they kinda need to be, if they’re going to get to the bottom of the virus mess). Now, everyone has agreed to do an independent investigation into the damn thing’s origins (virus, not Trump - though that’s not a bad idea). Oh, and India is in charge of the WHO’s executive board now. This should make for a nice geo-political tussle throwing all prevailing tensions in the mix. China hates India. The US hates China. Many love China because it has them by the balls. China hates the guts of Taiwan who is important against the Covid fight. India loves the US until it doesn’t. Everyone else hates China. And US. Maybe India. What fun!
Coro-nation roundup: Who’s at the top of the race to the bottom? Pretty much everyone it seems. Usual suspect, Trump wants to reopen churches, refuses to be seen wearing a mask (toxic maskulinity?), and continues to take hydroxychloroquine which might actually raise the risk of death in Covid patients. Meanwhile his South American equivalent, the amazer from the Amazon has ensured Brazil will soon be #2. And while it’s slowly starting to creep up in Africa, model state Gujarat is cracking under the strain. Meanwhile, remember Sweden’s tryst with herd immunity? Turns out it’s gone pear shaped and for two days in the last week, it had the highest Covid death rate in the world (!). Unlike furniture, it seems Covid cannot have a DIY approach.
Bus karo yaar!: Say what you will about the BJP dispensation, but no one cares more about abuses buses. In UP, the Congress apparently tried to arrange 1000 buses to transport stranded migrants from Rajasthan into UP. The Yogi government promptly threw the UP Congress president in jail (!!!) because - get this - only 85% of those buses were actually buses. Migrants are still stranded though. This gives a new meaning to the phrase kursi ki petty.
I Zee U: In the first reported case of a virus infecting a virus, it seems Zee News has become a Covid-19 hotspot because Sudhir Chaudhary demanded a 100% attendance in office. Our sympathies with the unfortunate employees. Idiozee ka bhi zeema hoti hai.
Best is to get wasted, yaars: Want to take your mind off all this nonsense? Apparently, studies suggest that cannabis might help with Coronavirus. If you prefer alternatives, booze can now be sold online in most places in India including Mumbai. But, the best strain from this week is Iron Maiden’s Wasted Years played by the Chief Minister of Meghalaya.
Everything other than the virus
I b Amphan, you be amphibian: While the world left the usual news cycle on, the cyclone news from West Bengal and Odisha was largely sidelined. Amphan was devastating, and quite possibly the worst storm in living memory. To make matters worse, it’s becoming even more difficult for Bengali migrants to return home.
No LAC of problems: As if there weren't enough things to worry about, there is now tension on the Line of Action Control between India and China border tensions. Meanwhile there was a fire in a Delhi slum that destroyed 200 homes, and a horrible plane crash in Pakistan. Sigh. 2020 seems to have been authored by GRR Martin.
Not all headlines...: ...need to be caused by you furrowing your brow. Some positives this week: That far-right party in Germany that was gaining pre-pandemic seems to be deeply unpopular now. And one of the Rwandan Genocide suspects was arrested outside Paris after a good 23 years. Not to be left hanging.
Gone with the wind: The good thing with Trump is you know anything he does is bad, and you don’t even need to understand the topic. This week he pulled out of something called the Open Air Alliance. You don’t need to be an aviation expert (or even read the article) to know that’s now a bad idea (just like threatening to pull out of WHO). It’s convenient having Trump around. It’ll be easy enough to get him back though. Someone should just tell him the Open Air Alliance is the group of people advocating going out in the open during quarantine.
HK thoo: China’s had enough of Hong Kong’s impertinence (and freedom) and has passed a national security law that might give it sweeping powers over said autonomous area. Expect more protests, fights and international fence-sitting. This is no surprise, as Xi was already strengthening his role through virus diplomacy and now with the pesky West distracted, his party can swoop in and quash all dissent.
Back in a Giphy: Hey look, ‘tech antitrust’ is back again, all because FB bought Giphy. To be fair, you can invoke antitrust when they haven’t even figured out how to pronounce GIF yet. We’re sure there’s a GIF for this…
LinkedOut: Some good things we read this week
Excellent breakdown of the economic package. Breakdown as in analysis, okay. Just clarifying.
Covid is accelerating the rise of faux meat.
Did you miss the tweet of the week? Liberals are trying to make sense of Elon Musk’s Red Pill moment.
How CO2 emissions plunged 17% due to Covid confinement.
That’s it for this week. If you’d like to get in touch with us, we’re on Instagram (Chuck | Tony) and Twitter (Chuck | Tony). Or you can reach us on good ol’ email. Until next week, may you find your long-lost, comfortable white Snoopy tee shirt. Bye!