The Third Slip: Issue 163: Petal Shot
Hello, Slippers! Welcome to The Third Slip - the weekly newsletter that’s like the Patel shot. It showcases the most obvious highlights in the world with a funny face in front of it for no reason. But let’s face it, the awful dad jokes are why you tune in the first place. You will scoff at our faces, but then go and tell your friends the same joke with full gusto. We know, we know.
This is issue 163. 163, of course, is the numerical representation of Typhoid Mary, the original super spreader who was quarantined for nearly three decades! What does she have to do with 1 6 3 you ask? It’s not obvious? She was One Sick Stree. Okay, swiftly moving on to the news which will seem better in comparison...
Puns don’t kill people, but pandemics... (yes, we’re running out of headlines)
Some bad stuff remains the same
Curve ball: With ~3.5M cases and ~250k deaths, graphs are still mostly moving upwards, as India’s lockdown is extended by 2 more weeks. For future reference, it’s good to remember that prevention is better than curve.
Pilot project: But at least, India arranged for pilots to do fly-bys and shower petals to salute frontline fighters of the pandemic. First it was PLATE, now it is PETAL, all we are saying is get ready for the next instalment with PATEL. Meanwhile, healthcare workers continue to be stigmatized (even in India).
Orange is the new green: How thin-skinned and idiotic are bhakts? Enough to suggest that zones with no cases should be Orange, and those with the most number of cases should be Green. We cannot even…. Meanwhile, the BJP, never one to miss an opportunity, continues to use the pandemic to vilify Muslims but keeps the mask on on the shadiness around PMCARES.
Some bad stuff is coming back
Changi not changa: Singapore has seen surging cases of late - mostly because of crowded migrant camps (something that should worry the Gulf countries too).
Elon wolf: Another thing that’s returned is Elon Musk’s arrogance - he’s demanding a reopening saying a lockdown is fascist. Even a Melon Husk makes more sense at this point.
Some bad stuff is fresh
Screening and screening: Screening, according to the Oxford dictionary, can mean two things: Putting up a picture that everything is fine and censoring things that are not to your liking. Like China desperately trying to pretend nothing’s wrong and getting back to work… But consumers ain’t buying anything. Tired of all this annoying worker activism, Amazon’s cracking down on internal communication.
And some worse stuff is coming
Open season: Continuing their trend of out-disastering disaster, the US is now opening up some states - forsaking sanity and medical advice. It’s ok, because Trump says China is to blame.
Hip hip HRray!: Contact tracing tech is well and good, but getting people to download apps is another. Except for Aarogya Setu, the downloading of which has now been made the responsibility of the HR teams in companies. Well, to be fair, it’s not like they can organise birthday celebrations anymore.
Some good stuff from expected places
Kiwipedia: New Zealand - the country everyone wishes they were in - cautiously has declared victory against the virus. Also, South Korea and Hong Kong are not seeing new cases.
Some good stuff from unexpected places
Ahead of the curve: Vietnam and some African countries have kept the virus in check also - thanks to good policies and utilizing time properly (shockingly, banging plates was not in the list).
Some good stuff from home
Half life: Our mortality rate of 3.2% is among the lowest in the world, and ‘doubling time’ has increased to 12 days and the recovery rate gets better. Yay!
Some good science stuff
A shot in the arm: Remdesivir - a failed Ebola drug - is now giving everyone hope (thank federal spending!). Elsewhere, human trials have begun for a vaccine developed by Oxford, which India’s Serum Institute is gearing up to unleash on the world like a new Taher Shah song - except this is something people desperately want. So maybe like an issue of TTS for your spam folder.
Borderline legal: Researchers are using CRISPR tech to detect viruses rapidly. “Shhh… Don’t tell our bosses we’re collaborating to solve this ruddy pandemic” - scientists in US & China
Some future good stuff
Keep the change: The coronavirus continues to do what many things before it couldn’t - changing public transport in India, reducing pollution by record levels, and making ‘reliable stocks’ sexy again. Something the good chaps at Goldman Sachs dubbed ‘GRANOLAS stocks’. Brace for more corny acronyms though.
The good (maybe?) stuff
Tech-ing it up a notch: The Top Five are killing it - FB, Alphabet, Amazon, Microsoft and Apple now account for 20% of the value of the S&P. Jeez.
Barrcode: And the US AG did a Twitter AMA and it went as well as you might expect it to.
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Everything other than the virus
Mumbo Jumbo: Economy what? Virus who? Modi, Kovind and Naidu have ordered private jets.
Why waste a pandemic?: India uses the lockdown to arrest NRC protestors; and Israel, to do some major annexation.
Comic Belief
A picture is worth a thousand words. Harini Kannan’s illustration for The Third Slip tells the tale of Irrfan Khan and Rishi Kapoor’s passing...
Impropoor Conduct: The government shot down an idea to tax the rich proposal, while waiving off 6.6 lakh crores’ worth of loans by some big defaulters (including Mehul Choksi and other BJP chums).
Poll dance: L’Orange is not happy. Many polls indicate him losing to Biden who now also has Hillary’s support. Also, unlike global leaders, his standing has not improved, in fact getting worse (says a lot when his chances of getting re-election decrease every time he opens his mouth. No wonder our own… okay never mind)
Canado attitude: One week after a bloody shooting in Canada, the country bans the sale of many firearms. Learn, USA, learn.
Mutual funds sahi nahi hai: The Franklin Templeton mess explained. TLDR: If you have debt mutual funds, consider cashing out.
Get Riyadh of it: This week in “news that’s supposed to be good until you realise it was still a thing till now”: Saudi Arabia ends execution of children.
LinkedOut: Some good things we read this week
An excellent read about ‘open sourced medicine’ and how it can prepare us for whatever’s coming next.
We passed May Day. One wonders if beyond the holiday, India will ever treat its labourers with respect.
Your weekly dose of cringe is ‘coronapop’ in India which glorifies Dear Leader and vilifies the Chinese. Enjoy.
On the testing rate in India - is the government right or are critics? Turns out, both (but yes, we need to test more)
Are self-sustaining homes the future?
Yes, Trump & Biden are both campaigning virtually. Here’s a terrific comparison of how they’re doing.
Naseeruddin Shah pens a beautiful note on Irrfan Khan’s passing.
That’s it for this week. If you’d like to get in touch with us, we’re on Instagram (Chuck | Tony) and Twitter (Chuck | Tony). Or you can reach us on good ol’ email. Until next week, may all the memories you captured over the years find you and make you smile. Bye!