The Third Slip - Issue 16 - Korea chura na mera jiya
Kim Jong Un successfully tested an intercontinental ballistic missile, Putin meets Trump, and in India, every day is the routine - just Breakfast, Lynch, Dinner. Welcome to Issue 16 of The Third Slip, so bizarrely named because it is a roundup of er… the bizarre state of the world over the last one week. Let’s jump right in...
HOME
Yay communalism!
To all those libtards who think development hasn’t happened under Modi, we say: Look at Saran. What used to be a peaceful Bihar town has transformed: Into a communal hellhole where Muslims fear for their lives. As far as moving backward goes, the BJP sure puts the ‘Hind’ in ‘Jai Hind’.
The best thing since sliced bee… Never mind
It’s possible to give anything a positive spin if you hire enough MBAs - so here’s Business Insider attempt at making Aadhaar surveillance seem positive. Well done, you’ve passed this round - now please do the same for 1984.
Least surprising headline of the year award
“In Yogi Adityanath’s Uttar Pradesh, free speech is under threat” Indeed, the only surprise is that it’s still only in the ‘under threat’ stage, and not ‘destroyed beyond belief, currently in ICU’. In a related category, (Least surprising image accompaniment to an article) a piece about how BJP is gaining a foothold in Bihar has something burning.
A nose for trouble
BJP sniffs out riots like a police dog sniffs out drugs or Jughead sniffs out burgers. Only, instead of quelling the fires, the BJP fans it. Latest instance: West Bengal, a state where the BJP was unheard of a few years ago. What’s more alarming is that the BJP does well in states that have a history of communal violence.
Speaking of sniffing things out…
There’s an agrarian crisis, unreported rape cases have risen 300%, botchy GST and demonetization implementation is leaving small traders confused and angry… So what does the government do? Make beef detecting machines, of course, that cost 8000 Rs a piece. I suppose we shouldn’t even be surprised anymore. Strangely enough, the Shiv Sena has condoned policing and violence around beef. What’s even happening?
In unrelated news, Amit Shah’s convoy hit and injured a cow in Odisha.
Small points
The India-China standoff over that road in Bhutan continues.
Beer is now a health drink in Andhra Pradesh, says an excise minister. In yer face, prohibition!
Supreme Court says roads within a city can be exempt from the liquor ban. Oh is that you again prohibition? Take that too!
Chennai getting innovative about conserving water. #KnowledegableChennaiCrowd
Supreme Court asks the Government to consider giving another window to turn in demonetised notes. Essentially, the SC wants to leave no notes unturned. (Self high-five)
GST
Small traders are facing shrinking profits and - more importantly - are made to feel like criminals and are quite pissed at the BJP, the party they once supported. The rose (orange?) tinted glasses are finally falling from their eyes.
Time will Tel Aviv
Modi is visiting Israel and that’s going to be a little tricky. Background: Israel is one of India’s biggest arms suppliers. India is one of the strongest supporters of Palestine. Which, you might know, Israel is not very fond of. To say that this triangle is slightly more complicated than Archie, Betty and Veronica is an understatement.
WORLD
G20-20 vision
The big geopolitical news of the week was the Hamburg G20 meet. The 20 participating nations contribute 85% of the world’s economy. Now that the US is a laughing stock, everyone’s eyes are on Germany and China to guide them into a world that will hopefully see the 22nd century. Merkel, in particular, is being seen as the new champion of a liberal, globalized world facing off against nationalist strongmen. Given Trump’s regressive views on both, trade and climate change will be the major focus points. It’s a strange world where everyone suspects each other yet shakes hands; the Trump-Erdogan-Putin-Modi way of functioning is different from Macron-Trudeau-Merkel; trade agreements are being revised for ideology rather than economics...
But the real story is on the sidelines:
Trump met Putin! And that’s the reason the air felt slightly chilly on Friday. Anyway, Putin said he didn’t interfere in the US election and demanded sanctions were lifted over Russia being a naughty little boy in Crimea. Well, we did manage to get a Syria ceasefire (let’s see how long that lasts. Trump and Putin support opposing sides there). Oh, and what’s a G20 without a good protest?
Potential armageddon news now:
The good news - Donald Trump is now the good guy. The bad news - it’ only in comparison. To (who else), nuke-happy North Korea, who tested another missile, this time one capable of reaching the US itself. This raises the prospect of war.
The EU and Japan are teaming up to create a trade agreement, showing a giant middle finger to Trump (essentially). Details.
Try this on for gloomy size: ISIS’ defeat might not mean a smooth road for Syria.
If any of this is depressing you and making you wonder about the long-term health of the planet, you might not have that problem. Hackers are targeting US nuclear plants. Joy!
L’Orange Corner
We usually start with Trump’s desultory incompetence - but one area where he’s showing intent (actually) is pissing China off: He’s approved a $1b arms sale to Taiwan (which China doesn’t believe exists - much like the rest of the world doesn’t believe the word ‘soccer’ exists - it’s ‘football’ and ‘rugby’). Keep in mind China is an ally of trigger-happy North Korea whom Trump is trying to (rightfully) contain and you have all the ingredients for a political rom-com, except, at the end of it, you might get a mushroom cloud instead of an empty tissue box. Keep building those bunkers.
Obama and Trump are both social media savvy presidents. But see if you can spot the difference between the way Obama tweets and the way Trump does. Just give it a shot. We’ll wait. (update)
Oh, by the way, there are zero staff members now in the White House science division - it shows, actually. He made a speech about space which led to Buzz Aldrin’s epic reactions.
The US job market did grow 220000 new jobs. And before Trump claims credit - only 1000 were from the sector he looked to grow - manufacturing.
TECH
You thought you had a massive CV? Alexa has 15000 skills (and controls 70% of the voice-activated market, by the way).
Tencent restricted playtime of the world’s most popular video game for 12 year-olds to 1 hour per day!
BIZ
2 achievements for Uber this week - The milestone of 5 billion rides and no controversy! Woohoo!
Hey, wanna feel rich? With half of your BSchool CTC (we assume), you could have bought a company that was once worth 4 crores - Burrp.
Fossil fuel is so 2015
Volvo says that every vehicle it makes 2019 onwards will be electric/hybrid - that brought down Tesla’s stock, but this week saw its long-awaited Model3 going into production. It’s been called the most important electric car ever and that might not be an exaggeration. EVs till now have been a toy of the environmentally-friendly rich man or hipster. The Model 3 ($35000) is 1/3rd the price of previous models and will pave the way for mass EV adoption. We hope. Over in Asia, Hanoi wants to ban motorcycles by 2030 - laudable but people remain sceptical. And at home, NTPC invested massively in coal - what was all that noise around green energy, again?
LinkedOut
Music streaming is massive, adding millions of users every month. But nobody is profitable - not even pioneer Spotify and whee-so-much-cash Apple Music. 2017 will be the year when we’ll know whether the business model is viable or not (expect an HBR case study!)
Dutch Disease: An actual term that means an economy degrading because of over-reliance on oil (also, nice story about Norway and their ‘ten commandments of using oil’)
What is it like to be in a polyamorous relationship? And just what does it mean? Mint explores.
In which Mani Shankar Aiyar shuts down Swapan Dasgupta’s bizarre defence of the recent lynchings by blaming an underlying streak of violence in India.
That's everything that happened this week. Everything. Anything else that happened is out of syllabus and you can ask for grace marks. If you have anything to share with us, reach us on Twitter (Chuck, Tony). Or better us, send us a long email. We would love to hear your thoughts. Until next week, hope you don't meet the business end of a beef detector. Bye!