The Third Slip: Issue 158 - Lockdown, Stockdown, and Barreldown
Hello, Slippers! Welcome to The Third Slip - the weekly newsletter that's like the tequila that’s at the bottom of your bar. This shouldn’t be your go-to resource, yet in times when nothing else is available you give it a taste and find that it provides the desired effect as long as it’s taken with a pinch of salt, and when not consumed in large quantities. When life gives you lemons… read The Third Slip for news.
This is issue 158. 158, incidentally, is the amount in rupees you’ll save by removing the sports channels from your TV subscription right now. Let’s face it, there’s going to be no sports for the next six months. And, we’re out of alcohol for a while. What other escapist coping mechanisms are there? This is not just a lockdown, our stocks are down, and we’re staring at the bottom of the booze barrel as well.
It turns out that the discomfort we’re feeling is grief, and it’s important to acknowledge it despite our privilege. Speaking of coping, our cricket WhatsApp groups have turned into men discussing the best way to wash dishes and discovering that household chores are ideal distractions for you to be listening to podcasts. May we recommend Reply All taking calls from people under lockdown from all over the world and the Tim Ferriss show on combating COVID-19, loneliness, and more. Oh, and hey! Music concerts are still on (digitally). Here’s a list. And SmolCoach. And Kweezzz. And the news...
Quo Vadis, Covid-19?
As on 29th March, it looks quite dark for a while yet. A third of the world is in lockdown. ~700k infected. 30k deaths. Italy & Spain top the list. The US is an absolute shitshow with a leader who still cares more about his reputation (at least ours gives the impression of caring). And the UK’s hand shaking PM caught the virus.
TL;DR of India’s week: Over 1000 confirmed cases. 21 day lockdown. Predictable panic buying thanks to vague specifics. Drivers / medics harassed. Low testing and unsafe because equipment was delayed. Migrants struggling to head home and the scenes are horrific. Relief package for the poor, RBI trying to help an economy that’s suffered more damage than from DeMo. Private companies & individuals are stepping in to help & donate. And er, Ramayana is back while bhakts are calling for Kejriwal to be arrested. Meanwhile, Kerala and Maharashtra seem to be doing better than most with transparent and supportive state governments.
Not Just India
Mountain on broke backs: They say “Socialism is a failed economic model”, but right now economics is a failed social model. Our poor are suffering, but that’s the case everywhere - Refugees in the UK, or in Syria/Yemen.
Masks off: Our doctors don’t have supplies / protection, but neither do those in the UK or US.
Claptrap: It wasn’t just us who banged pots and pans. UK clapped too (but they seemed like they meant it for the health workers - not for a mela)
Going viral: It’s not just our idiots having Corona parties, but… Sigh, America (no, really!)
Testing times: It’s not just India who had a flawed testing strategy… Ok, you get the picture.
The bad stuff
I’M F-ed: IMF says this recession (oh yeah, we’re in one) could be worse than the 2009 one. You don’t say.
Race to the bottom: Racism everywhere. Against the Chinese, against Northeasterners.
Doctors don’t have enough bandwidth: All this found a way for the Kashmir situation to get even worse - doctors are unable to download instructions and guidelines.
My grandstanding v/s migrant standing: Kids in Modi’s constituency eating grass because there is no food. Heartbreaking exodus of migrant workers.
Trump’llstillspin: Trumps thinks the whole thing is overblown and wants to open the US economy by Easter, despite WHO warning the country could become the next epicenter. It’s so bad epidemiologists have to factor in “what if Trump thinks we’re a hoax” into their calculations. Remember, USA, you could have had this woman as your leader.
But hey, apparently Trump is more popular than ever before.
Jeff off: Bezos sold Amazon stock before the Covid collapse and now has the gall to ask the public for donations for his underpaid employees.
The good stuff
The tunnel at the end of the blight: It looks like we’ll crawl out of this hole, eventually. Italy’s curve is flattening, China starting to ease up (thought that could just be propaganda) and people are getting back to work. The environment has never been better. Medical expertise and kindness are being celebrated. Also, see “silver linings” below.
We’re living in a stimulation: India - $2b for research; ₹1.7 lakh crore relief package for the poor, a very small portion of the GDP compared to other countries. Still, the last time we saw such numbers was when the Congress was doing scams (good ol’ days!).
Two is company, three is crowd-sourcing: Big Tech is not just stepping up, it’s kinda winning. What techlash? Companies to the rescue. Dyson made a ventilator in 10 days, MIT made a cheap open-source one, Italian engineers repurposed scuba gear, a group of tinkerers had an idea now being mass-manufactured by Ford… Indian trains are being used as quarantine centers, and the philanthropy (Tata, Premji, Ola, and many more) happening is insane.
Seeing red: Kerala <3 | Cuba <3 Hmm, we wonder what the thing that connects them is.
Party’s over: China’s youth aren’t as enamoured of the Party as they were. Well well.
The fun stuff
Aa jao kabhi favela pe: Gangs in Brazil enforced lockdown since the government did nothing. Don’t be surprised if further satire comes true, like a mass shooter needing to now go door-to-door. Meanwhile, Brazilians protested Bolsonaro not doing anything by - guess what - banging pots and pans.
SD reacs only: OTTs will now show in SD on mobile data as ISPs are straining.
All men are islands: Many people are finding solace in a make-your-own-desert-island video game called New Horizons.
The :’) stuff
ShowMyBook: A bookstore in the UK is sending readers a “mystery bag” for $100.
Vow factor: A couple got married by yelling their vows across a street.
A picture is worth a…: This photo. No, seriously. This photo.
Hand in glove, handing love: Doctors keeping their sanity alive with some really cool tweets & TikToks.
Woke from home: They interviewed the “child crashed the BBC interview” family!
The silver linings
This could be a way for us to do sports better. Or capitalism better (yes, please). Or approaching climate change better. Or even improve our own PDS. There’s an Online Movement Pass being distributed in Kolkata. Philanthropists are stepping up. Regular people are being nice (horror stories get shared more). Hang in there, guys. And well, the NPR rollout is stalled.
It’s hard to think of one image that sums up the week, but this image of Pope Francis delivering a message of unity to an empty ‘audience’ is surreal.
At Home
Polltricks: Pandemic? What social distancing? It’s Politics as Usual for the BJP with Ram Mandir, horse trading, temple visits as usual for Yogiji, and massive defence purchases for the MoD.
‘Slim pickings: Sadly, the Muslims from the Delhi pogroms are unlikely to get justice. And, the MHO used the opportunity to erase Shaheen Bagh. But, hopefully its spirit will live on long after the pandemic.
Link in jio: FB to buy 10% stake in Jio. Brrrrr.
International
Terror in judgment: The Christchurch shooter - unexpectedly - pled guilty to all his murders.
Lasterix: RIP Albert Uderzo. By Toutatis :(
A terrorist strike by ISIS in a Sikh Temple in Kabul killed 25 :(
Tech it and go
Doesn’t matter. Everything tech now should be about quelling coronavirus. Nobody fucking cares about more megapixels right now. (Ok one thing - a breakthrough for electric vehicle engines)
LinkedOut
We’ve often taken digs at FB here. But in times of crisis, it’s become a very important support mechanism.
If you need tips from someone who’s stayed alone for a year - few people better than an ISS Astronaut, no?
Say perhaps to drugs.
A letter from the future (ie, Italy).
A stunning read on how the pandemic will end: It’s the bleakest AND the most optimistic thing you will read this week.
The possible low-carbon future the coronavirus is bringing us.
The coronavirus: Will it boost automation, or show humans are more indispensable than ever?
Doctors. Thank you.
That’s it for this week. If you’d like to get in touch with us, we’re on Instagram (Chuck | Tony) and Twitter (Chuck | Tony). Or you can reach us on good ol’ email. Until next week, may you fall in love again with the un-made-up you. Bye!