The Third Slip: Issue 155 - Wash hands, not minds
Hello, Slippers! Welcome to The Third Slip - the weekly newsletter that’s like International Women’s Day. It’s not a remedy to the systemic ills that are entrenched in society, it’s a token response to throw light on how screwed up the mainstream is, and it’s basically run by men trying to evoke emotions to appear woke and showcase to the world what beautiful human beings we really are.
This is issue 155, for the week beginning 8th March, where we realised that 2020 is not just a repeat of 2002, it’s also a repeat of 2003. The Indian women’s cricket team capitulated in a world cup final against Australia in a near-exact replica of 2003, starting with *that* disastrous opening over from Zaheer Khan. Sorry for opening up those deep scars again. But then, you know the news follows this so you’re already a certifiable masochist. So here’s the plot twist: read this twitter thread about the women’s world cup which will definitely put many smiles on your face instead of the rest of this issue. No, wait. We didn’t mean that seriously. Stop it! Don’t go… Crap, we should really have thought this through. Oh well, here’s the news in case you’re still here…
Cave at caveat
If you’ve been staying under a rock, stay there. Coronavirus is spreading. 100000+ have been infected. The death toll is more than that of SARS. Events & conferences (including SXSW) are being cancelled. Schools are closed. Economies are tanking, like they needed another reason. There is no vaccine yet. It is likely that it will become a pandemic. India’s health infra is not prepared to deal. Wash your hands well and don’t hoard masks. Read TTS instead of going to press conferences.
At Home
Ban… Banner… Barrister
Chutiya ban aaya: The fascist meter has been cranked all the way up to 11 it seems. This week, the government banned Kerala based news channels Asianet News and Media One for reporting the Delhi riots properly and calling it what it was - a state-sponsored pogrom. Grounds for the ban include such offences like “Channel seems to be critical towards Delhi Police and RSS”. Shock. Horror. How can a news channel indulge in actual journalism from the ground and all? The 48 hour ban was eventually lifted the very next morning.
Bruise Banner: Meanwhile in UP, where Yogi is crueler than the average bear, the government erected banners which published photos and personal details of people who are protesting the CAA.
Court unquote: 2020 will also be remembered as the year when surreal scenes played out in what was supposed to be democracy’s last hope - the courts. It’s gone so pear-shaped that the SC basically told Harsh Mander that it won’t listen to him because he didn’t have respect for the court and was peddling hate speech (obvz he was not). Meanwhile, Justice Muralidhar was given a fitting farewell in the Delhi HC and gave a stirring speech, but he still remains transferred.
Seems like a good time to link to, and quote from, The Atlantic’s reportage on Delhi… “The message from the BJP is clear: Elect whomever you like. We are still in power. Call the police; they work for us. Appeal to the courts; we’ll neutralize any judges who don’t toe our line. Continue to dissent, and we will set the mob on you.”
Less Bank
Thanks to shady lending, YES Bank is facing a liquidity crunch (something that sounds funny - liquids are not usually cru.. Ok, too soon). It’s unlikely the bank will die - but if you pay attention to TV channels or political parties, you might think the situation is worse than a certain virus doing the rounds. Poor SBI & LIC might have to bail it out. UPI’s been badly hit since PhonePe (the dominant player) transacts with YES. Maybe not the best of weeks for the Supreme Court to say cryptocurrencies are okay. Or maybe a masterstroke. Who knows!
This week’s antinationals
The BJP’s health minister who said non-veg food does not cause Coronavirus. How dare he spread the truth!
Other fools in parliament telling BJP MPs to stop saying cow urine can solve said virus. How dare they stop the spread of fake news!
The opposition: Who Amit Shah says is responsible for all of Delhi’s violence.
Mumbai’s new top cop: Who says protests can continue.
A 14 year old. Of course.
Bengal Police: For filing FIRs against people who shouted ‘goli maaro’ slogans. Don’t they know we have freedom to shoot (conditions apply)?
Bidar Court: That said the school students’ anti-CAA play was not seditious.
Andhra Pradesh: The latest to give a middle finger to the NRC.
Riot kapda aur machination: Screw all those nonbelievers who say that the BJP isn’t providing employment. See how they got 2000 people from outside just for riots in Delhi. Heartwarming :’)
We are not on board: CBSE trying to be cool on Twitter is the saddest thing we’ve seen this week. Maybe the strategy is to make social media uncool so students leave them and study more. Genius.
International
Kabul bhulaiyaa: The USA’s going all “screw this, I’m going home” and going to pull troops out of Afghanistan. So the other side of “Trump’s historic peace deal ends US’ longest war” is “Taliban has free reign to plunder the country”... Aaaaand an attack.
Warren piece: After a very messy fight, the Democractic candidate will be either former VP Joe Biden, or socialist Bernie Sanders. Sigh. Whoever can get that moron out of the White House. (sigh, Warren :( )
Istanbuls and Moscows: Turkey & Russia have announced a ceasefire to stop fighting their proxy war in Syria (let’s see how long that lasts).
Pouring oil on troubled waters: Guyana found a lot of oil. That could make it rich, or plunder it. Anyway, it’s headed for polls and we’re sure democracy will fairly solve the problem. LOL.
Suppress and oppress and depress, one stage they’ll strike: Mexican women have gone on strike for a day - basically no work, no buying anything, nothing - for a day. Good on ya!
Tech
Teching it up: Good on Amazon and Etsy for pulling products looking to capitalize on Coronavirus. And good on FB for providing the WHO unlimited ad credit.
Channel #5: Hey, look, Twitter is experimenting with disappearing tweets. AKA stories. Old whine, new bottle with channel #5.
Jacking off: An ‘activist investor’ firm has acquired 5% of Twitter and wants @jack out as CEO.
Know when to fold: Folding phone concepts got weird. You knew this would happen.
Cisco laga dala toh life jingo lala: CISCO might be helping Modi’s thugs black out the internet in Kashmir.
LinkedOut
Remember that German student who got thrown out of the country for protesting against CAA? He wrote.
An analysis on AAP’s shortcomings of going “only welfare”.
This memo by Sequoia Capital calling Coronavirus the ‘Black Swan of 2020’.
RIP, Jack Welch of inspiring-MBA-candidates-SOP fame.
An Iraqi woman faced her ISIS rapist in court and watched him being given the death penalty.
That’s it for this week. If you’d like to get in touch with us, we’re on Instagram (Chuck | Tony). Or you can reach us on good ol’ email. Until next week, may you meet that person who leaves behind the half-a-sachet of sugar in the pantry that you always end up using for your morning coffee, and may they be all sorts of cool. Bye!