The Third Slip: Issue 145 - Moral Eclipse
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Hello, Slippers! Welcome to The Third Slip - the weekly newsletter that is like a kolam drawn on the road. While it is organic, fades away quickly, and completely harmless, it is enough to be considered anti-national in 2019. Like they say, “Power corrupts, rice flour disrupts absolutely”.
This is issue 145. Or, as the Brits would call it “a quarter to two”. A quarter to two is also the recommended intake of the inebriant of your choice before attempting to have a conversation on basic principles like the constitution or privilege now. ‘Why?’ you ask? Because of the news, of course...
At Home
Contra-Diction
Every news item sparks many online fights and opinion pieces - that is to say, rows and columns. We did the logical thing and put rows and columns together to form a table on the CAA NRC NPR khichdi.
Topic
Who said “No”
Who said “Yes”
NRC is happening?
BJP (Modi)
BJP (Shah)
UP police is firing on people?
Dissent is welcome
BJP (2019)
BJP (2014)
BAN PROTESTS
Karnataka HC
Karnataka Govt
Muslims must be eradicated!
BJP’s new Muslim appeasement panel
NPR linked to NRC?
CAA ho raha hai? Things are really, really bad in UP with lots of state-led police brutality. Yogiji ‘s only concern is to make alleged protestors pay for all the damage (though the police seem exempt) like a garden-variety drug dealer who goes around collecting his weekly ransom. It’s so bad that even a union minister condemned the behaviour of the UP police and called for immediate action.
This topic is dystopic: Even peaceful activists are being rounded up, so much so that women putting kolams (white rangolis) are being detained. A foreign student (in IIT Madras) and tourist (in Kochi) were politely asked to leave for participating in protests. Even as protesters, such as the epic gathering at Shaheen Bagh, are countering hate with love, the state is in a parallel universe of its own - one where the army chief is making political statements, cops are saying “go to Pakistan”, and we see police action inside hospitals!! Modi should listen - especially as India’s image is being dented abroad, amidst an already plummeting economy. Or worse still, from a construct that Dear Leader understands, his own image is being tainted again and no Maybach sunglasses can shield him.
Ranchi dressing: Meanwhile, even as it prepares to make millions of citizens stateless, it seems the citizens of India are determined to make the BJP state-less. In the latest setback, the incumbent BJP lost the Jharkhand elections. Maybe all that hubris and hate-based politics has a limit?
Promises Delhivered: AAP released a report card for its work in Delhi and gosh it looks so good that you just know they’re going to lose the next elections :(
Assetback: Did Mukesh bhai say something against CAA? Because the IT department has started looking into his financial trail overseas…
Starbhakts menu: Accused terrorist? Check. Saying Godse is a patriot and Mumbai’s police martyrs got their comeuppance? Check. And now, delaying a flight? Ding ding ding! Congrats, Pragya Thakur - achievement unlocked. Next: HC judges dying naturally in not at all mysterious circumstances.
BHU-t: Thankfully, all of our national problems will be solved by a new medical course on Ghost Studies. This is not a drill.
A break from all that depressing shit
Lead story: A pencil delayed the New York subway. Yep. Apparently, it prevented the door from closing.
Trickle down economics: A man robbed a bank, and then threw all the money in the air and yelled ‘Merry Christmas’. People picked up the money and gave it back to the bank.
Happy New Ear!
Do you enjoy The Third Slip? Well, now 100% of The Third Slip creators are 50% of the Simblified podcast. That’s right, Tony has now joined Chuck, Srikeit, and Naren on the podcast that explains things in the news to help you appear smarter, to an audience that knows no less. You can catch the first episode of the review of 2019 on 30th December - on Spotify, PocketCasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.
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International
:(
Recycle bin: Remember Saudi Arabia’s crown prince, Mohammed bin Salman, had a journalist - Jamal Khasshoggi murdered? Naturally, he and his close circle were exonerated in a trial.
Basher al-Assad: Syria just won’t stop bombing its own people. It has triggered a fresh exodus of people to the Turkish border.
App ki kashish...: A calling/messaging app popular in the UAE turned out to be by the government to kinda spy on people. China should approve! BRB, turning on our Jio hotspot.
:)
Music to our ears: If you’re part of the “influencers” suck club like us, this should make you smile - a bunch of those twats got well-directed hate for promoting a music festival in Saudi Arabia.
The shoe is on the other foot: Remember Colin Kaepernick? The NFL player who kneeled during the national anthem and made a controversial ad with Nike? Well, after struggling to get back in the conservative League, his shoe co-made with Nike sold out in minutes.
Terror 404: A lot of ISIS’ digital presence - a key weapon it had - is deleted. Now if we can delete their presence from the world as well.
:O
Who will watch the watchmen?: Enough of the ‘in Soviet Russia’ jokes - in Hong Kong, citizens surveil the police!
Testing times: Schools are known to be pro-test, but not like this. A US school chain will allow students one day off per year to protest!
Boss, move: Travis Kalanick, Uber’s outspoken, brash founder, has left the company in all capacities, and Boeing’s CEO was fired for mismanaging the whole, yknow, crash crisis.
[Holy shit, did we just do an international section without talking about Trump?! Bless the holidays.]
LinkedOut
The best things we read this week which are not the news
2019 was the year when lesbian pop culture was celebrated.
Did you know philanthropy-led video streams are a thing?
What it will take to beat Donald Trump is just cleaning up - not all the radical things the current contenders are saying.
Will lazy Indian brands ever stop doing pan-India ads in Hindi?
The architects of our digital hellscape are very sorry.The biggest tech flops of the 2000s. Enjoy.
That’s it for this week. If you’d like to get in touch with us, we’re on Twitter (Chuck | Tony). Or you can reach us on good ol’ email. Until next week, may you inspire bad poetry in a drunk person’s head. Bye!