The Third Slip - Issue 14: No GST added to consuming this newsletter
Third Slip - Issue 14: No GST added to consuming this newsletter
Hello and welcome to issue 14 of The Third Slip. Issue 13 definitely didn’t bring luck to the Indian Cricket Team, here’s hoping this you enjoy #14.
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The Gentleman’s Game LOL LOL LOL
When they say that India is a nation that’s crazy about cricket, they mean it quite literally. First, some TRP hungry, opportunistic media channels wanted India to boycott their match against pakistan. Then, they hunted down Indian players asking them why they wouldn’t wear black armbands in solidarity with the soldiers. Following which, there were rumours about “anti-nationals” celebrating Pakistan’s win which led to sedition charges and harassment of the muslim community. But hey, turns out no one actually knows if someone celebrated the win. Deja vu all over again, again and again.
The cricket team itself remained classy to the extent possible with players posing for photographs with the children of Pak players, Virat Kohli remaining gracious in defeat and congratulating Pakistan, and generally asking everyone to calm the F down because cricket is only a game that’s supposed to bring joy.
However, it turns out that last week was the season finale for Indian Cricket and all of the above drama was just not enough. Anil Kumble stepped down as coach of the Indian team after disagreements with Virat Kohli and everyone rightly had a go at India’s entitled brats. Thankfully though, Kohli and team chose not to wash dirty laundry in public.
If you’re depressed about Indian cricket, let us remind you now that we still have the coolest captain ever. No, not Kohli, but Mithali Raj, who was seen chilling like a boss, reading some Rumi before going into bat and scoring yet another fifty and helping India beat England. Earlier in the week, she had shut down a reporter who asked her who her favourite male cricketer was by asking him if he had ever asked a male cricketer who their favourite female cricketer was. We are not worthy.
The GiST of it all
GST is slowly getting implemented and it’s definitely united the nation - everyone is confused. Meanwhile, check how GST affects your life here, and if this whole why-is-government-rushing-to-implement-financial-thing is giving you a sense of deja vu, you aren’t alone. Coughdemonetizationcough.
Disunity in diversity
Many religions, languages, cultures, viewpoints - are all things the government is proud of… But only in ‘Incredible India’ ads. Otherwise, it’s happy to let right-wing loonies murder Muslims - a saddeningly frequent occurrence in the country now.
Unpresidented
Dalits hate BJP. So BJP fields Dalit candidate Ram Nath Kovind for Prez (y’know, just like Kalam 2002). Neat. That means every time a new set of people hate the BJP… Okay, let’s not go down that route. Oh, by the way, the Congress is playing the My Dalit is better than your Dalit game too by announcing their candidate - Meira ‘Baith Jayiye’ Kumar. She might not win, but with 17 parties backing her, might be an interesting choice for PM in 2019.
Career Clowns
It is easy to forget our favourite comedians making the news in India given there are so many of them. Pahalaj Nihalani reminded us of his awesomeness this week by first censoring out the word “intercourse” from a movie, and then channeling his inner Vince McMahon, and throwing out a challenge to allow the word if 1 lakh people voted for it.
Incidentally, inter-course is what they call XI and XII grades in Andhra Pradesh and given the number of engineers they produce, that’s the closest they’ll get to any action for several years. (One of the authors of this newsletter may have done their engineering from Andhra Pradesh)
Interlude: WTF news of the week
There is no more WTF. That’s right, the World Taekwondo Federation has decided that it’s best to change its name to World Taekwondo.
In other WTF news, it turns out that around 140 pubs in Bangalore’s MG Road will have to shut down because, as per records, it is a national highway.
Come Londone
Another week, another attack in London - where a nutjob drove a truck into Muslims praying. Nothing sent a message of the Religion of Peace more than an Imam protecting the suspect. Since it wasn’t a Muslim doing the attacking, Trump remained silent.
Keep ‘em bunkers ready
The US is now involved and Russia is not pleased - words that will not reassure anybody. For those late to the party, Syria is just the battleground : It’s basically US + allies vs Russia + Iran + Syria with everyone still talking civilly to each other.
Riyaadein Yaad Aati Hain (terrible, we know)
Hey what did you do when you were 31? Definitely not named next-in-line to Saudi Arabia! This week, King Salman bumped off the current crown prince in favour of his son - who’s definitely unconventional. Oh, don’t worry - he’s a war-lover, but he wants to end the country’s dependence on oil. Plus he has his royal fingers in a bunch of other things.
What else?
Happy Brexitversary - things are set to begin and UK businesses are shitting in their pants.
And we missed this last week (shocking lapse in our otherwise faultless reporting): 20 million Muslims march against ISIS! #ThingsTheMediaDidntBotherTellingYou
Trump: We have no branches. Almost.
Europe seems to have averted right-wing looniness, but don’t say ‘phew’ just yet - there’s a nutjob in Brazil who might become president - and he prefers a dead son over a gay one.
The L’Orange Corner
The Russia connection - Trump is not under investigation. But he himself disagrees as he tweeted otherwise. Anyway, more Trump-Russia connections emerged. Confused? Welcome to the club.
One good thing Trump has done is: revived interest in history. Might be a tad too late since the world’s likely to end soon anyway.
You might have heard of an election in the US state of Georgia, it was meant to be a ‘referendum on Trump’ - Sadly, the Republican only won. So while 60% of the country think he’s lying… Never mind, it only gets depressing.
Trump told auto companies not to make in Mexico. Ok. So they’re making in China now.
The US invited China over to tell them to rein in ally North Korea. China said no. Looks like that bromance is now over - as officially documented by (what else) Trump’s Twitter.
The revised Obamacare replacement (!) is the opposite of Robinhood in terms of fiscal osmosis - but it looks like it won’t get passed because some Republicans still oppose it. Keep popcorn ready, this will be fun.
And if you were waiting for Trump to release something on iTunes, his collaboration with James Comey won’t be one - it wasn’t recorded.
Tech
For OnePlus - the 5 is a make-or-break (PS one half of TTS bought it, it’s great!)
Local train not cutting it for you? Don’t worry - the personal aircraft business is getting more serious.
A focus on ‘how it works’: Apple’s secret sauce to ignoring critics and winning customers. Case in point: the much-lambasted Earpods are a hit with people who use them. Commiserations to one-half of this newsletter who’s an audio snob sitting with his heavy planar-magnetic headphones.
Oh, and the tech industry hated Trump before they realised there was money to be made.
Biz
Uber
And out goes Travis. If you’ve had a hard time keeping up with the several ways in which Uber goofed up - and not just the ridiculous pricing of Pool from Goregaon to Lower Parel - then here’s a timeline dating back from 2013. But look, aww, some 1000 employees want him back (kids, this is what Stockholm Syndrome looks like) - and it’s easy to see why. The man said “I like pissing people off” and that he needed that attitude to fight against his many obstacles. Uber wouldn’t have been Uber without him.
Just had to do it
Amazon is a behemoth: If last week’s acquisition of Whole Foods didn’t convince you of that, then sample this: Nike has so far never sold on the platform saying it would undermine its brand. But falling offline sales meant that it just had to go online.
LinkedOut
Fantastic perspective on why Amazon bought Whole Foods - it could be their biggest ‘customer’.
The Profitability Paradox - fantastic read on The Ken (yes it’s a paywall but… Go get it)
With a new idea of India emerging, will there be a 2024 election?
Buzzfeed takes a journey to the heart of the Hindutva project.
How is an Indian porn site made? A fabulous investigative piece on Debonair. NSFW warnings may apply.
And that’s it for this week. Would you like to share anything with us? Like it, hate it, completely indifferent to it? Tell us on Twitter (Chuck and Tony), or send us a long flattering letter via email. Until next time, stay patriotic (or else)!
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PS: The line ‘My Dalit is better than your Dalit’ contributed by Chuck’s dad-in-law!