The Third Slip: Issue 139 - Singeing in the rain
The Third Slip: Issue 139 - Singeing in the rain
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Hello, Slippers! Welcome to The Third Slip - the weekly newsletter that’s like a canister of oxygen in the Delhi-level air quality that is mainstream journalism. We aim to give you that breath of fresh air which you’ve long since forgotten. But, we’re also aware that pure oxygen is dangerous and could potentially kill you and so we mix it with some terrible humour, just to keep you alive. The things we do for you! Think of us as an oxygen bar, but one where the bar is set really low.
This is issue 139, and we’re midway through November. Or as some inscrutable idiots call it No Nut November. Which makes no sense, unless it’s a clever ploy created by the Catholic Church. But, we do not live in an age of religious regression and moral policing, we live in an age of religious regression and moral policing meets late stage capitalism. And here, exclusively for us in 2019 is this product you can buy on Amazon: i-Virgin - Blood for the First Night.
Hopefully, this will make the news seem less bizarre. On with it!
International News
Raining on their parade
The Venice city council rejected a host of climate measures because why not? Immediately after the vote, the council chambers flooded. These are the worst floods in Venice in 50 years, but a huge win for irony. Oh, and massive bushfires in Australia (which are killing koalas. Nooooo). Meanwhile, a deadly plague (related to the bubonic one) is spreading in China. Officials have taken swift action like only efficient China can and clamped down on any discussion about it.
Parading on their reign
Protests continue in Iraq and it’s getting worse. Same with Hong Kong, where educational institutes are now getting affected.
Ukraining on his parade
Public impeachment proceedings against Trump have started. Lots is happening, but all you need to know is things are getting worse for him, as more evidence stacks up that he bullied a foreign country into investigating a political rival - something that’s apparently worse than being racist, xenophobic, misogynistic and an all-round twat. Anyway, if you don’t know what’s happening, here’s an excellent explainer. The Trump section of TTS ain’t going away in a hurry. Sorry.
UK-raining on their parade
Much like a nail-biting cricket match involving England where you expect them to go out at any point but somehow the end keeps getting put off and finally nobody is sure what to do with the number of boundaries, Brexit is still DOA. Outgoing European Council President Donald Tusk (that means he’s stepping down, not that he’s an extrovert. I mean, he could be. But that’s not the point) has told the UK to reconsider Brexit because it will leave them a “second-rate player”.
Raining on their pardes
Little Gambia has decided to take Myanmar to (International) Court (of Justice, The Hague) for its genocide of the Muslim Rohingya. And, after creating a (much needed) massive ruckus in the US, Greta Thunberg is sailing back to Sweden.
Photo of the week
Republic display of affection
At Home
What do you get when you manipulate data? Magic. Ta da!
Consumer spending falls for the first time in 40 years. That’s when your parents had to wait 2 years to get a landline or Chetak. When Led Zeppelin were around. When only one cricket World Cup was played. When… You get the picture. As always, the poor are the worst hit. But wait, the government has solved the problem... by scrapping its own report by saying has data quality issues. Innovative!
The court is in your ball
The Supreme Court in the land followed up with the Ayodhya verdict from last week with other significant judgments - all of which went along expected lines. It kind of reversed its position on the Sabarimala issue referring the issue to a larger constitutional bench. Convenient. But, women won’t be entering the shrine now. Oh also, the Rafale review petitions were dismissed. But at least, the CJI is under the RTI act now - the SC said transparency is good, but RTI should not be used as a surveillance tool.
Putting the Pug and IOUs in Pugnacious
Earlier in the week, Vodafone CEO spoke candidly about how screwed the company was in India. This was enough for some idiots to “object”, forcing said CEO to say sorry sir sorry sir actually everything is okay sir please ask your Mukeshji to screw our balls harder sir thanks.
Devil’s Threesome
Maharashtra - full comedy and farce as the Shiv Sena and BJP seem to have an ugly public breakup, and now the impossible (an alliance with Congress & NCP) seems on the cards.
How can students be pro-test?
We can’t not report the most overhyped and useless protest by Indian students in recent history. These guys might think they’re revolutionaries but they’re an absolute drain on the resources of the country. We’re referring, of course, to some idiots from BHU protesting the appointment of a Muslim professor teaching Sanskrit. What’s scarier than Halloween? A bunch of kids going from door to door saying “Big-o-try! Big-o-try!”
Jair Hind!
Since we can’t seem to get Trump to visit India, we get the next best thing - the (xeno+homo)phobic, Amazon-burning Brazilian crackpot, Jair Bolsonaro! Coming to a Republic Day parade near you.
RIP
TN Seshan, the man who cleaned up India’s electoral system (or made it less murky, anyway).
Tech & Biz
Taking the Mickey
Disney+ is live! It has a ready audience, no Netflixesque growing pains, and a very important tech acquisition. Gear up, the big mouse has entered, and it’s got 10 million sign-ups on day one - roughly about the same as TTS.
Healthcliff
You might remember that Google bought Fitbit, something that’s worrying its users about how their data will be used. The company who once went by ‘Don’t Be Evil’ tried to assuage such concerns, but surely, a whistleblower talking about a secret transfer of medical data of 50 million Americans without their knowledge might not exactly help. Hmm, maybe not the best time to announce they’re getting into banking as well?
The balance of Libra
Undeterred by all the controversy around its cryptocurrency, Libra, FB goes ahead and develops another product, Facebook Pay. Not sure if this still solves the “do you want your money in the company that brought you Cambridge Analytica” problem.
Your mileage may vary
Uber just finds new ways to invent controversy for themselves - the CEO likened the murder of Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi to a self-driving car accident. Oops. Well, someone who made a puppy being run over by a car analogy is now the Indian PM, so definite career options available.
Chain pe charcha
China’s acceptance of Blockchain (not cryptocurrency, mind) and the US’ shunning of it, might mean a new paradigm of technology might come from the former. Another chapter in the US-China “decoupling” of various industries.
LinkedOut
Fabulous read: How the pursuit of creativity (and being okay with making mistakes) can make a better AI… Just like actual evolution.
How the dumb design of a WW2 plane led to a generation of user-friendliness and eventually, the Mac.
It looks bleak for Trump now, but the truth is - he might very well win the presidency a second time. And that’s disastrous for everyone.
The human cost of Softbank-funded startup growth (Ola & OYO feature! India #represent!)
Welcome to the world of Hindutva pop.
Start a podcast before it’s too late. You have three years.
And finally, context to the Muslim silence around the Ayodhya verdict.
That’s it for this week. If you’d like to get in touch with us, we’re on Twitter (Chuck | Tony). Or you can reach us on good ol’ email. Until next week, may your favourite sports team win everything - preferably even the elections. Bye!
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