The Third Slip: Issue 125 - Ab ki baar trolley car
Hello, Slippers! Welcome to The Third Slip - the weekly newsletter that keeps going on like a runaway trolley car which poses philosophical questions from time to time, and may occasionally hold your attention for 5 minutes.
This is issue 125, for the week beginning 11th August 2019. A week in which, India found an answer to the modified trolley problem which states “You see a runaway trolley car approaching a fork. There is no one tied to either track, but if the trolley switches its course, it might go along a route that you think is better. You’re observing from the bridge above the control lever with a friend of yours who you’ve brought along. You can switch the trolley’s track by throwing your friend over on the lever and severely injuring or killing him. What would you do?” with “Of course, push that guy over and do a victory dance.”
News from India
Articles are not endorsements: This week, India - the greatest democracy in the world, a country rich in historical values, a paragon of virtue, a beacon of hope promising space for everyone in a truly inclusive society - first lied to all of its citizens about a potential terrorist threat in Kashmir, then evacuated the state, put all its leaders under house arrest, flooded it with army personnel, cut off all communication lines and decided its fate in the passage of a couple of hours.
We’re ill-equipped to comment on the second issue of the complex article 370. But we are furious at an outright violation of the constitutional promise and the shutting out of a people whose voices we still can’t hear. The chest-thumping that followed on the media - both mainstream and social suggests that we’re way out of touch with the times. Or scarier still, very few people understand the basic concepts of privilege and consent. There has been so much said about this in the last week that we felt the need to get away from it all. But, here are a few pieces and thoughts that you should read on the issue
The story of Indian democracy written in blood and betrayal by Pratap Bhanu Mehta in the Indian Express.
A timeline-based TL;DR of the whole situation because, well, none of us was taught this in school.
An opinion piece in the Quartz on how India has lost its positioning on the global stage with this move.
After adding Sabka Vishwas as a promise to his government’s approach this term, how could Modi possibly speak about this move? Well, he managed quite well with infinite rhetoric for 40 minutes.
Don’t get us wrong, most people actually celebrated. Perhaps, the sad truth is that the majority in India does not want democracy anymore.
And while we may never learn of the plight of the people who were locked down by the greatest democracy in the world, we know at least one story of this Kashmiri musician who had to fly down to Delhi to just to buy medicines for his granny.
Why this unprecedented move from India worries the North East.
The opposition in India is a joke right now, which is why we’re glad there’s at least one Shashi Tharoor in parliament to coherently put forth the other point of view. His 16-minute speech in the Lok Sabha.
Sonia yet so far: The more things change, the more they stay the same. If you thought the Indian National Congress couldn’t become any more of a joke, you thought wrong. Now after Rahul Gandhi quit, it seems Sonia Gandhi is the interim president of the party.
Polltergeist: No private company is to have access to EVMs - but apparently, this is not true. No idea what that company is - but come on. You already know it’s shady.
When life gives you Lehmans: The Indian economy is in pretty bad shape and all those ruddy NBFCs have a lot to do with it. In fact, it’s looking like USA 2008 (which is not to say, a liberal, decent man just came to power).
After hell, there’s high water: There are floods in several parts of the country - including Kerala and Maharashtra. The water minister of the latter state, though, smiled happily in a selfie video as if he were on a white water rafting trip. Facepalm.
Around the World
At gunpoint: When they say the President is a man of calibre, they're referring to the bore of a gun barrel. After the two shootings last week, President Trump has blamed: Video games, mental health, the internet. Not blamed: Guns or the NRA, who has Trump & the Republicans by their collective, shrivelled balls. He went to the two affected cities to talk about himself and was promptly met with protests. He even grinned while posing with an orphaned baby at a hospital. Meanwhile, Chicago saw so many shootings that hospitals had to turn people away, the shooter won’t be charged with terrorism because laws, and Texas (where one of the shootings was) actually made gun laws more lax! If you’ve lost count, we’re now at 255 shootings in 215 days, enough for Uruguay and Venezuela to issue travel warnings. What a country! 8chan - the site where much of the white supremacy festering begins - has been taken down - this might be the only solution till the government decides to do something.
Change of climate: Shockingly, the US Senate’s transportation plan has lots of provisions for climate change. Perhaps that’s how they will get Trump to pass it - by hiding it in a ton of legalese he won’t have time for. This is similar to the approach TTS authors use to keep themselves alive while flagrantly propagating libtard ideas (except we use puns and obscure 70s metal references).
Dealer of the free world: Boris Johnson has told the EU he has no intention to renegotiate the Brexit deal - meaning he hopes to win on… personality. For a world leader who looks like a budget Suhel Seth. This is not going to end well. Deal with it.
Vyapaar ek dhoka hai: Trade war “are they suffering?” checklist: China - yes. America - yes. Rest of the world - yes. (somehow, it feels like Russia is the winner in all this). By the way, China devalued the yuan. Short story: It’s counterbalancing the trade war losses. Long story: Here. Ok, truth be told - some countries are cashing in on the trade war and making quite a packet for themselves. Finally a Trade War we can watch without wondering if Australianism is going to win the World Cup again. No, wait... wrong section.
Fight and flight: Hong Kong is still ravaged by protests (In case you want to see for yourself - Spicejet has chosen this time to offer and advertise cheap flight tickets to the island).
Governing… Governing… Gone!: Puerto Rico protested for a change in governor and boy did they get what they wanted: They’ve gone through three in the last week.
Thought for food: The UN is not known for cheerful reports, and this week they told us we’re at food security risk thanks to climate change. Given we’re all going to die by 2040 anyway, does it matter anymore? Break out those retirement funds, and drink away lads!
But at least we have this...
Who’s your daddy?: Remember poor Prithvi Shaw picking up a cricketing ban for ingesting cough syrup? Boy, that was some tough syrup. Turns out that’s for amateurs. Basketball player DJ Cooper has been suspended by FIBA because his urine sample tested positive for… wait for it… being pregnant. That’s right, he switched his sample with his girlfriend’s without realising she was pregnant. Bravo DJ, Bravo.
The turd is absurd: A guy laughed hysterically at the absurdity of it all, as some Trump supporters were protesting and proceeded to go viral. We’re all a #GreenShirtGuy inside reading the news these days. As the poet said, Always look on the bright side of life.
Kenya believe it?: A Kenyan lawmaker was kicked out for bringing her baby to parliament. Other women walked out with her!
Kiwi leaks: New Zealand doesn’t go to party - the party comes to it. This time, in the form of millions of dollars’ worth of cocaine floating up onto its shores. We feel you cocaine batch, we’d all be much happier in New Zealand.
Therapy retail
Given everything that’s happening in India and the rest of the world, we’re fairly convinced that this is a massive conspiracy by Big Therapy to push more and more liberals into therapy. After all, they are the ones who are most affected by the news and the most accepting of therapy. While we’re not in therapy yet, we could use a couple of beers to tide through bringing you the news in miserable times. So if you like The Third Slip, here’s how you can help
Become a patron (from $1 a month) on Patreon
UPI us some moolah (thethirdslip@paytm)
Tell people about us! Send the newsletter to a friend (or casual acquaintance whose DMs you’re trying to slide into. We don’t mind being used)
Tech & Business
Taking you for a ride: Showing its acumen, Uber has posted an impressive loss of $5 billion - silencing its critics by showing it indeed has a working business model. Now, all it needs is some BJP-level creative mathematics to make this impressive number seem like a positive. Profits, after all, are for wimps, not investors. They do have plans of trying to provide public transport tickets, though.
Credit where it’s due: Apple has a new credit card - and it looks massively simple to use and manage. If there was any reason to dissuade you from taking it, it’s this: Goldman Sachs can see all your data and you’ll need to call them to cancel it.
Teching it to its logical conclusion: Another week, another Big Tech platform supporting authoritarian regimes (Microsoft this time) or exploiting labour (Amazon). All this has made Stanford - the pipeline to much Silicon Valley talent - increasingly wary of Big Tech.
For you meddling kids: Happy one year anniversary, Tiktok! The authors still don’t know what that means, but hey, we’re two guys who met on Orkut and send out 2000-word newsletters, for fuck’s sake.
Oh snap!: By the way, in case you were wondering, Snapchat is totally killing it revenue-wise. The authors still don’t know what that…
LinkedOut
“Subscription fatigue” is likely to hit Netflix, as increased traffic to Torrent sites shows.
The rise of white terrorism & ISIS are more similar than you think.
AI needs your data for research and development (and you should be getting paid for it).
And a look at the dark history of 8Chan, the haven of white supremacists who use free speech as an excuse to plan violence and spread hate.
A really balanced piece asking if pot indeed is better for you at work.
Mathematicians hate that viral equation - and this is why.
That’s it for this week. If you’d like to get in touch with us, we’re on Twitter (Chuck | Tony). Or you can reach us on good ol’ email. Until next week, may you find the courage to be disliked.
