The Third Slip: Issue 117 - Manchester United India Pakistan
Hello, Slippers! Welcome to The Third Slip - the weekly newsletter that’s like 2019 ICC Cricket World Cup. You thought it was going to be really entertaining and exciting because of the round robin format fully covering all the best teams in the world only to be let down by several one-sided matches and multiple fixtures rained out, but you follow it anyway because clearly, you have nothing better to do.
This is issue 117 for the week beginning 16th June. A week in which the weather in Manchester united India and Pakistan supporters. And while one of us has decided to take our mind off all the rubbish in the world by jetting it to Europe, the other has muted all news publications on his feed leaving us with an issue that’s a tribute to the world cup - a shortened version as determined by the Deepak Chuckworth - Tony Lewis method. Here we go...
India
Assault on the sciences: While the figurative phrase has been unfolding rapidly over the last few years in the country, it took a literal turn with two doctors in West Bengal being attacked by bystanders of patients. This precipitated a justified widespread strike by doctors across the state with no resolution yet as CM Mamata Banerjee scrambles to find a response that will put the state’s health services back on track even as she found time to say “speak Bengali if you stay in Bengal”
Short Massaging Service: In business as usual news - a proposal to provide head/foot massages to passengers on trains was derailed after a BJP MP wrote to minister Piyush Goyal claiming, you guessed it, "it was against the Indian culture to provide massage services to passengers in the presence of fellow women travellers.” We could go ahead and extrapolate that he added "real Indian men get massages only in Thailand" and "you can't randomly have people pressing bodies here and there. The press needs to be more responsible". Meanwhile, Vincent Vega from Pulp Fiction agreed that a foot massage is in the same ballpark as being against Indian culture.
Loony tunes: Chandramukhi was excited by the strange new sensation as Vikram touched her softly. His rover was small but he knew how to use it well. He moved around like he fully understood her wild surface. It was for the first time, that someone was exploring her south pole - Why it’s probably not a good idea to get Chetan Bhagat to try and make science sexy for the masses. But, it’s exciting times as Chandrayaan 2 is announced with Vikram the lander and the robotic rover Pragyan set up to explore the south pole of the moon in July.
World
Thimpu Sultan: In happy world news, no not New Zealand, but good guess though. Bhutan has taken the logical but, in the context of the world, revolutionary step to make teachers and medical staff the highest paid civil servants. What do you expect from the king of the world countries - one which values its happiness index, and has a currency called ngultrum (which, incidentally, is what they call Old Monk in Andhra Pradesh hehe).
Catastrophe: Indian discourse on mainstream and social media leaves much to be desired with gems such as these…
… but our neighbours across the border raise our national pride, as is their job description. This week in Pakistan, a government session broadcast live had cat filters applied to the speakers. You can’t make this stuff up. Although if there’s an award given out for the kind of content that gets eyeballs on social, it would be a cat-as-trophy.
Ad to the narrative: What do you call a stereotype in the corporate world? A marketing insight. Well, not anymore in the UK as they get ready to ban harmful gender stereotypes in advertising because, in the long run, it affects people negatively. Now there’s a ban we can get behind.
Puff puff pass that test: Hey da, will you test me for a pre-employment pot test? Nevada. And another ban we can get behind - Nevada becomes the first state in the US ban pre-employment marijuana tests. Given how the world is in 2019, it’ll help if everyone smokes a J and calms the fuck down.
Whirlwind world wind word windup: We see the shrewd reader asking “hey, but what happened to all the disappointing news?”. Well, we’re not following it but we imagine Trump fired somebody important in his administration. And politicians are backstabbing each other to become the next failed Brexit propagating prime minister of the UK. China is being a dick to its own citizens somewhere - Hong Kong perhaps. And some third world country like Sudan continues to burn but no one really cares. Hey, you made us do that. Now quick, go watch cricket.
Tech
Mark my words: What do you do when you take the supposed moral high ground on freedom of speech and refuse to take down a deepfake video of Nancy Pelosi, and then one of you emerges? Mark Zuckerberg was forced to stick to his guns as a deepfake video of him emerged describing himself as “one man, with total control of billions of people’s stolen data, all their secrets, their lives, their futures”. That feeling when you own the world’s largest social network but can’t even block an idiot troll.
You get the picture: 1: Create tools that allow manipulation of images. 2: Create tools that allow detection of manipulation of images. 3:?? 4: Profit. Adobe has started showing off research on its tool that will detect image manipulation and enable reversal to the original image. Cynicism aside, anything that helps fight fake nose news is welcome.
Tech it and go: Mary Meeker’s annual internet trends report is here. She cleverly put together slides numbering 333, an indication that we’re exactly at the halfway point when the human race will be fully enslaved by technology.
LinkedOut
Osman Samiuddin in fine fettle describing the “beautiful white, fluffy cloud of Rohit passing through in the brilliant blue sky of Kohli”.
FruityLoops doesn’t sound like your run of the mill music program, and that’s because it isn’t. Its story like many successful things on the internet starts with some smut, before unleashing revolution.
Why pretty much everything that’s common wisdom about obesity is wrong. The false equivalence between weight and health is only serving to bully and stigmatise a large section of society (no pun there :/).
That’s it for this week. If you’d like to send us funny cat videos or your profound thoughts, or generally interact with us outside of this newsletter we’re on Twitter (Chuck | Tony). But hey, we’re in our thirties so you can email us too. Until next week, may your life live up to the hype of an India-Pakistan match. Bye!