The Third Slip: Issue 112 - Facts don’t cloud judgment
Hello, Slippers! Welcome to The Third Slip - the weekly newsletter that always flies under the radar because its writers have their heads in the clouds. Our points of view are often unscientific, and unintentionally hilarious but we act as if we are really important and all of this is on purpose.
This is issue 112 for the week. 112 coincidentally is also the number of cricket matches that have been played this year that feature Indian players. LOL, actually we have no idea, pretty similar to the measure of what India’s GDP is, or what our unemployment rate is. It’s 2019 bro, who cares about the facts? Let’s just get on with the news before the last day of the two important premier leagues...
At Home
No justice, only judgment: When there is no fair hearing for a legit grievance in the highest echelons of justice, where water cooler conversations usually go like “Whereas, the complainant’s assertion that the aggrieved party’s state of mind has been altered due to being in witness thereof on the 12th night of May in the year of our Lord 2019 inter alia miscellaneous entertainment sources, in particular, the IPL/Indian Premier League/T20 hereafter referred to as cricket...” the least that would be expected would be a semblance of due process. This week, however, an in-house committee basically shut the door in the face of any standards with the way they treated the complaint against CJI Gogoi saying “How dare you accuse our honourable Supreme Court judges of such things, you anti-national”. Basically.
Cycle-on: Kudos to Orissa and its government for evacuating people ensuring minimal loss of life (if not, alas, livelihood) during cyclone Fani. It’s now time to rebuild. Maybe the best example of why climate change should be on more Indians’ minds, especially at a time where the Modi government gave the go-ahead for ravaging one of India’s densest forests to make way for coal mines.
Putting the gross in GDP: This government’s treatment of data can at best be described as “untethered to the truth”. As the GDP kite flies anyway the wind blows, it turns out that 36% of the companies used for its GDP calculation are non-existent or wrongly categorised. It is for times like these that the millennials have come up with the mot juste - ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. The government later put out a clarification saying the extent of overestimation is marginal. And we should believe them. After all, the one thing they’re good at is marginalising.
Electile Dysfunction
Open and shut: What better opener than Gautam Gambhir. Except this is not the 2011 WC final, it’s the 2019 election. And well, our man has no clue of where the offence stump lies. He offers no meaningful ideas and has been accused of a smear campaign against Atishi Marlena - the architect behind Delhi’s school education renaissance. To his credit, he denied it instead of doubling down - yeah, that’s where the bar lies. Because...
Grave mistakes: Pragya Thakur’s verbal attack on a martyr (Karkare, the cop who lost his life in 26/11) seems to have inspired others in the party to take potshots at the dead: Starting with the man himself: Modi launching into Rajiv Gandhi. Probably done to sledge Rahul who just responded with a shrug and virtual hug. While Rajiv was no saint, this is a little below the belt. But hey, we’re talking about a party that vilifies the Mahatma and idolizes his assassin.
Time and tide wait for no man: In a week in which Modi featured on the cover of TIME magazine with the caption “divider-in-chief” his party proved them wrong starting with Amit Shah - the face of “Careers to pursue after being an aggressive bouncer at a pub magazine” with a blatantly divisive campaign in West Bengal. Plus, in things that the Election Commission chose to ignore this week: The BJP bribing the Leh Press Club to write nice nice things about the BJP. Also, meet the ‘political consultants’ who help parties spread rumours (or, as they sell it, ‘create a tide’).
Sunny days: Well, at least not everyone in the BJP is trying to politicize the Balakot Air Strikes. Sunny Deol has absolutely no clue what they are. Stay in your bubble, Sunny.
Farmvile: Some anti-national farmers tried to contest against Great Leader in Varanasi to bring attention to their plight. Ugh. Just because Modi failed them on all his promises.
VVPATONTHEBACK: And in the meantime - the world is still wonderstruck over our democratic process and the sheer amount of illegal incentives.
America
Pills who have zero chill: Some non-Trump news first: America’s getting stricter abortion laws, thanks to the increased percentage of nutjobs and “science? What?” idiots in power (ok, partially Trump news). Several actors/studios are boycotting filming in Georgia, which just passed some of the toughest laws yet.
Tirade expert: Champion dealmaker Donald Trump failed to make a trade deal with China. TL;DR: Things will get more expensive for American consumers, especially for his most rabid fans. Of course, they don’t mind - they’ve got plenty of money from selling their soul a long time ago. Speaking of Trump, the NYT did a massive investigation on his taxes that shows that he’s not the savvy business genius he thinks he is - Trump lost $1.2b (!) in his ‘peak’ years. Not that this should surprise anyone, or change anything.
Hosh Na Khabar Hai, Yeh Kaisa Asar Hai Bill Barr Bill Barr: Elsewhere, Democrats are taking legal action against the Attorney-General, as Trump uses executive power to not give up the full uncensored Mueller Report, which, in his words, says he’s innocent. This is the equivalent of a schoolkid claiming he got A+ but refuses to show his parents the report card.
STEMming the blow: Finally - remember Kendrick Castillo. An 18-year-old STEM student who lunged at a school shooter and got killed, saving lives in the process. What a hero. It will definitely need scientists to save this mad, mad world.
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Rest of the world:
Biter medicine: The FDA approves a dengue vaccine. BTW it’s pronounced deng-ee, not deng-eww. That’s right, two Malayalee boys are teaching you how to pronounce a word correctly.
Writers' block: The two Reuters reporters (who reported on Myanmar’s treatment of the Rohingya) were freed after spending 500 days in prison! They did win a Pulitzer, though!
Ice eyes baby: You’ve probably heard a lot about China’s surveillance. Here’s a nice long, comprehensive report on how they do it. Kick back, play the 1984 OST and enjoy reading this.
Fauna and faux pas: A million species of plants & animals are at risk of extinction. The only good thing that’s going to come out this, is that it might kill humans off too.
Tech
Cashless economics: Uber’s gone public and nobody has a clue how they’re going to make money. It’s also worth thinking about the downside of all the convenience.
Locashion: Google’s next money-maker could be Maps. Sponsored things are just the tip of the iceberg (which, of course, the Titanic could have avoided if it had… never mind)
Private Drive: The tech flavour of the season is privacy (FB | Microsoft | Google). Not as sexy as ‘disappearing stories’, but probably a lot more important. Round 1: Sundar Pichai taking a swipe at Apple saying privacy should not be a luxury good. Ooooh.
Self-driven car crash: No stock has fallen in the last few years more than Elon Musk’s personal stock (we went philosophical there). Once mad genius who makes a kvlt appearance on Big Bang Theory: now cranky, unpredictable guy who has a tendency to get drunk at parties you try your best to avoid. He’s going to trial for calling that football-team-rescuing cave diver a ‘paedophile’ and following up on that in emails. Ah.
Nuts
Battle photoshop: Sri Lanka - still mourning over the devastating Easter blasts - is channelling grief into humour by making memes out of ISIS’ leader.
No kidding: Spain gave paternal leave. Men realised what a hassle it is to rear kids. So they stopped wanting to have kids. Best.
Chemotional atyachar: Anti-vaccination is sooo 2018. Refusing cancer treatment for your 3-year-old? Now that’s the shiz.
Cost-a coffee: Step aside kopi luwak, that “Starbucks cup mistake” in Game of Thrones is now the most valuable coffee in the world - it got Starbucks $2.3b in free advertising. By the way, did you spot the TTS subscription easter egg in Endgame?
LinkedOut
This fantastic read by a Facebook co-founder about why the company should be split up. No, this ain’t some far-left rant, but grounded in solid Adam Smithian economics. With a bit of heart. There are actually quite a few early FB employees who’ve very vocally expressed concern
.Did you know the world’s best pizza box design is by an Indian?
Bleak. The women and children, leftover from ISIS.
Finally, something beautiful. A mom & son had graduation ceremonies on the same day. Mom skipped hers. But the two universities planned a surprise. Aw :)
That’s it for this week. If you’d like to get in touch with us, we’re on Instagram (Chuck | Tony), Twitter (Chuck | Tony), and good ol’ email. We’d love it if you could spread the word about what we do: Take a screenshot of your favourite sections and put it out on your Instagram Stories (or whatever it is kids use these days). Until next week, may the team you supported on Zomato cashback win the IPL finals.
