The Third Slip: Issue 110 - Mangoes into a bar
Hello, Slippers! Welcome to The Third Slip - the weekly newsletter that’s like the periodically scheduled candid interviews by the leader of the world’s greatest democracy. It looks spontaneous and charming, but essentially it’s a platform for virtue signalling that communicates only in one direction, with planted questions that we try to resolve, while we cry about how we can’t even attempt to be funny anymore because of the changing times.
This is issue 110. 110 in Hindi of course, is ek sau das- symbolising the exodus of the most vocal social media democratisers from Mumbai who have flown out of the city to take advantage of a near 5 day weekend brought about by election day on Monday. Who can blame them? It’s the kind of weather where you crave for mango showers, but most often end up saying “man, go shower!”
India
Hapuz in boots: It’s election season! Meaning that when the PM gives a rare interview, he finally spoke about… Mangoes. What a joke. We imagine that the original idea was for a normal no holds barred interview, but someone misspelt AMA as AAM. The roasting of this “apolitical” interview by Ravish Kumar was something to behold.
Monsters Inc.: Well, Pragya Thakur’s candidacy in Bhopal has had one happy fallout: Unhappy BJP workers are quitting. Everyone has their breaking point and the type of monster they’re willing to put up with, or maybe they figured supporting the local leader who was denied a ticket is more beneficial in the long term. Meanwhile, the Congress candidate from the constituency has renamed himself NoDigvijaya Singh, as he refused to make digs against Pragya Thakur to avoid controversies.
Binding Namo: South India proves (yet again) that it’s a different place from the rest of the country: With a majority of them thinking the country’s not headed in the right direction, and that Modi’s not a good idea. It’s all the fish we eat that leads to such anti-national thoughts. And the best picture of the election comes from Kerala…
Allah-din: It was a surprisingly sedate week from the BJP. They didn’t say or do anything too controversial! We did have some din about “break Muslim morale”, “send people who don’t sing Vande Mataram to Pakistan”, but… Come on guys, that’s sooooo 2017. It’s like they don’t even want to win the elections.
Other stories from India
Robbin’ livelihood: Capitalism - 21st century’s favourite religion is all about stealing from the poor and giving to the rich. Aptly summarised by the motto “yeh dil manage more”. Leading the way, of course, is PepsiCo who decided to sue farmers for growing potatoes that are used to make Lays. But, thankfully, people told them to fuck off and they offered a settlement to farmers that said - if we can’t beat you join us. Ouch potato.
Around the World
Serendip-pity: Last weekend, ISIS suicide bombers carried out one of the deadliest attacks in Sri Lanka, apparently targeting Christians, after officials had ignored warnings. The fallout was depressing as it was predictable: attacks on Muslims, an ill-advised ban on social media, and news that more might be to come… Tell us again, why religion is a good thing?
Boeing booing bone: The Boeing crashes were disasters waiting to happen: Workers in its factory shared stories of defective manufacturing and an emphasis on productivity over safety, while its management is still crying over the lost profits. Nice.
Brazil nuts: It’s been a while since we heard from the ‘Trump of Brazil’, Jair Bolsonaro, so here’s a recap: “Gays, don’t come to Brazil”, “Native people, get out of Brazil”, “Yeah you Africans also”, “Lolz half the country loves me”. Hmm, that script looks like it’s been published elsewhere.
Washing ton of laundry: Cleaning up al the news from the capital of the free world - well, we’ve had the Mueller report for a week and nothing’s happened. Dems are split about whether to proceed with impeachment. Why bother now, might as well focus on the 2020 elections. (Go Elizabeth Warren!). Obama’s VP, Joe Biden, has finally entered the already crowded race and it’s been a rocky start - people are not impressed with his “I am not Trump” approach while others are still bringing up all that inappropriate touching. (Our vote?). Meanwhile, Hasan Minhaj is trying to shame Jared Kushner into getting his chum and murderer extraordinaire, Saudi Arabia’s king (or whatever) to release an activist prisoner.
Vlad, I’m paler: Oh look! The North Korean dictator meets Vladimir Putin. What could possibly go wrong? (Don’t bother taking term insurance for more than 3 years).
Donald, duck: If you love a nice big protest, head over to the UK in early June: Queen Elizabeth has invited Trump over, and Britons - fed up with yammering on about Brexit, desperately need something new to protest. This should work.
This week in despicable
Vaccine is painful: Polio vaccinators in Pakistan are being killed. Apparently, hardliners think it’s a foreign plot to sterilize Muslim kids. Sigh. Just imagine a world without religion…
Seeing red: There are several comebacks we wouldn’t mind in 2019: AB de Villiers, Oasis, Barack Obama, Bill Watterson, Orkut… But come on, not measles.
Pillar of democracy: Pro-democracy activists in Hong Kong were jailed for 18 months. Myanmar still thinks journalists that do their job are scum.
Melting hurts: Those complaining that Greenland is actually full of ice… Well… you know it’s lost a fuckton of ice aka very important freshwater reserves.
Our Weird, Awesome World
Busking in the sun: So, how did you spend 4/20 (don’t tell us). We’ll tell you how Dave Grohl of Nirvana / Foo Fighters spent it - busking in Seattle. Visit your local sabji (subzi? sab si? Hope we’ve covered sab saab ji) mandi more often, maybe? You might catch Udit Narayan doing some ghazals.
Tech
Windows of opportunity: Congrats, Microsoft, for becoming the third company ever to have a market value of $1 trillion!
Bacteria are part of our culture: Twitter doesn’t want to ban white nationalists from its platform because it would piss off Republicans. Using the same logic that eradicating E.Coli will piss off bacteria. Must not offend Repub… Er, bacteria.
Privacy Primacy: Now that a massive fine by the FTC could actually dent profits, Facebook might start to take this annoying privacy thingy a little seriously.
Shop Engine Marketing: And we can’t leave Amazon out, can we? Here’s a deep dive into the shady world of buying your way to the top of its search results.
Bug’s bunny: The tech hero who solved the WannaCry virus got arrested for… Writing malicious code. This is like if Florence Nightingale was fired for spiking patient’s food.
Unique horn: So, when are people finally going to realise companies like Uber with billion-dollar valuations that toot their own horns are never going to make money? The company’s MBA-pfaff-laden reason? “We’re a platform.”
LinkedOut - The best things we read this week
An interesting counter-argument to the “while millions are in poverty why donate to Notre Dame” conundrum.
Fabulous article about why the East seems to adopt tech better (well, mostly Japan).
And now for something completely different, here’s a look at Monty Python’s origins - the show turns 50 this year.
On Instagram, being “candid and real” is in - not plastic and manufactured.
A delightful read about the Hindi translations of Asterix!
And to Endgame this week’s newsletter (No spoilers!)
Apparently, research shows that spoilers might actually enhance your movie experience. So we’re putting it out there: Dogmatix kills Thanos.
Neil deGrasse Tyson trashes Thanos’ math.
Even if Thanos did wipe out half of Earth’s life, how would the planet fare?
Even the cast cried. Well, those that can keep secrets, anyway.
And finally, a teacher’s request for no spoilers went viral.
That’s it for this week. Wanna say hello? We’re on Instagram (Chuck | Tony), Twitter (Chuck | Tony), and good ol’ email. Come say hi! Until next week, may half your puns be appreciated and the other half magically disappear from your timeline. Bye!
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