The Third Slip - Issue 10: Don't send feedback, you can't have a beef with anything anymore.
Welcome to The Third Slip: Your weekly roundup of things that happened over the week. For newcomers: How this works is - just reading through what we wrote will be enough for water-cooler conversations, but we’ve planted several (optional!) links everywhere in case the conversation moves to a pub later. It’s been 10 issues down, so let’s get cracking, shall we?
Want to know the nation?
Three years ago, the two authors of this newsletter were on opposing sides of the political debate - mostly because they held different views on economic policy and what development actually meant. Today, sadly, the political debate has devolved to “Why can’t you eat only the things I tell you to?” and “If the army wants to tie a human being to a jeep, what kind of rope should they use?”. But really, what have the three years of Acche Din looked like? Here’s a list of pieces that evaluate (from both sides of the spectrum).The central government this week effectively banned all kinds of cattle from being slaughtered for food taking control away from states under the ambit of “Prevention of Cruelty To Animals”. Many in the media point out how this has been conveniently brought about during the week in which Ramzan begins. This is a move with wide repercussions in a country where beef is a cheap source of protein for the vast majority. Kerala has come out fighting, taking legal steps, people organising beef fests, and all its leaders unequivocally thrashing the ban. Except for BJP state president Kummanam Rajasekharan who said the ban is not on consumption of meat, it is on slaughtering cattle. Which is a fair point, but the logistics involved in eating a live buffalo are slightly challenging.
In other news, we saw the disturbing image of a man about to be lynched by a mob based on fake information transmitted through WhatsApp groups. Caste violence is still a real issue and systemic oppression has led to the creation of outfits like the Bhim Army which does not shy away from aggression to fight their subjugation. Also, the officer who tied a Kashmiri man to the bonnet of a jeep as a human shield has been honoured by the army.
Influential trolls on the internet haven’t had a great week. Starting with the co-founder of iSpirt, associated with UIDAI, who first denied and then admitted to anonymously trolling Aadhaar critics on Twitter after being found out. The bar is set so low that the apology was considered a magnanimous gesture. Meanwhile, fake news is apparently what motivated Paresh Rawal to tweet that Arundathi Roy should be tied to the army jeep. He then doubled down by suggesting that he was being coerced by Twitter to delete his tweet. Also, Twitter deleted “singer” Abhijeet Bhattacharya’s account because of offensive tweets. Sonu Nigam then quit Twitter after a 24 tweet long rant and asked all patriots to delete their accounts as well. We sincerely hope this happens.
Word of the week
It seems like it wasn’t too farrago that Shashi Tharoor taught us a helpful 7 letter word that’s a perfect bingo on a Scrabble board. This week he filed a defamation suit against Arnab and confirmed the news with a tweet that called it a “campaign of calumny” thereby introducing India to yet another bingo-able word.
Best thing this week
The world’s best satire site ‘released’ leaked documents from the White House - 700 pages of them. Either Julian Assange has a lot of time on his hands, or the writers here have decided satire’s the best way to beat L’Orange. Either way - we benefit. Here you go.
Worst thing this week
There’s no way to shield this - the Manchester blasts. While the blasts themselves were horrible, the aftermath was as sad, and predictable - an increase in hate crimes (A Muslim man from Libya was the culprit). There was also a good side - people opened up their homes, and openly showed support for the Muslim community.
A depressingly excellent read is how ISIS have mastered social media.
A quick trip around the world
Before we get into more depressing news (alas), here’s some happy news: Taiwan has become the first Asian country to legalize gay marriage! This is no doubt going to piss of China even more (who still believes Taiwan is part of it).
Moving a little south, it’s always scary to hear the word ‘ballistic’ in conjunction with North Korea - not knowing whether the nuclear program or Supreme Leaderji is being alluded to. It was the former - they’ve successfully tested a nuclear warhead.
If you’ve been looking forward to a Trump impeachment but are not sure what that’ll look like, you might be able to see a pilot version of that in Brazil soon enough.
Speaking of things resembling Trump around the world - Philipino nutjob-with-a-gun Rodrigo Duterte has openly told his soldiers they
could rape women. But he surely has more on his mind now - an ISIS insurgency in Marawi City forced him to declare Martial Law.
Phew, we need some happier news and here it is: The Wacken Metal Festival in Germany is going to get its own beer pipeline!
Optimism Interlude
Pople worry about AI kicking them out of jobs. But humans always find a way. If you need proof - look at pigeons. After the entire homing pigeon industry was almost destroyed thanks to telegraph, emails and Snapchat, these fine avians have become creative with what they can do. And touchingly, they now have a new job - delivering drugs across the Middle East.
(Oh yeah and AlphaGo won again. Pack up your bags, AI is coming)
From the world of tech
Stat of the week: If you’d invested $100 in Bitcoin, you’d be a millionaire 75 times over today.
While the tech bit of this newsletter is usually free of sadness beyond what is happening to Twitter - be warned that the Net Neutrality debate might become a thing again - thanks to the one idiotic Indian who should have been kicked out of the US, Ajit Pai.
Here are a couple of Google things you probably didn’t know existed: An Indian local-search-and-delivery app and a $5000 whiteboard.
Mark Zuck’s promise of visiting all 50 US states is… Halfway there. This reeks of political campaigning, and he’ll need all the love he can muster, since critics of privacy are lampooning Facebook for targeted kids when they’re emotionally vulnerable (how dare an entirely free service does that!).
And hey, while you libtards are laughing / outraged at Aadhaar being given for cows, y no such outrage when Australia gives email IDs to trees? Huh? Where you all hippies now?
Now let’s get to the Bombastic One
Donnie’s been getting his first passport stamps since the tragedy of his election. Forget diplomacy and repercussions for the world - we got a ton of memes / hilarious moments out of it : The creepy Orb in Saudi Arabia, the Melania snub, the awkward Papal photo, and (the best of the lot) said Pontiff slapping his hand away and the funny-scary sword dance. Bonus hidden gem: Ben Netenyahu trying to prevent his minister from taking a Trumpfie.
Nothing of importance happened, really: His we-must-stop-terrorism speech in Saudi Arabia was remarkable only because it was more unremarkable than offensive (phew). Keep in mind though, that for Trump this is mostly a business deal (after all, deal-making slime-in-chief Jared Kushner was there) and human rights is just an annoyance for him. Meanwhile, Melania showed solidarity by having no idea what she was talking about - praising women empowerment in Saudi Arabia is a little like saying how good the Paneer in Mohammad Ali Road is.
He said/did nothing of note in Israel, and for some reason NATO asked him to inaugurate their new headquarters (would you ask Sunita Narain to cut the ribbon of a new Coca Cola factory?). Like in most areas, smart Europeans think Trump is a joke: He definitely acted like one, he called Germany bad, shoved Montenegro’s PM (add to meme collection) and scolded the group for not spending enough on defence.
Meanwhile, all those pro-Trump Hindus will be happy to know he doesn’t give an F about you anymore.
Back in the US: there was a terrible budget, Russia did try to influence Trump, revised ‘Trumpcare’ will, instead of removing 24 million people out of coverage, now remove only 23 million. How considerate :’) And finally, a change from Americans leaking things to Russia.
LinkedOut
“Real patriotism isn’t mindless, it isn’t divisive, and it isn’t about our pocketbooks.” - Lovely piece on what patriotism should mean
“War is a strange game, in which the only winning move—is not to play.” - Why a war with Pakistan is a bad idea.
Suicide attempts are no longer punishable by law. Here’s why that’s a good thing
To round up, a humorous piece on the state of the nation Three Years, One Truth
That's it for this week. If you made it this far, here's a bonus fact for you - the authors of The Third Slip met each other through Orkut on a community that celebrated bad jokes. Follow us (Chuck and Tony) on Orkut Twitter and tell us what you think. If you are from the Orkut era, you can email us too. Bye!