The Third Slip: Two blog posts masquerading as Issue 198

by Chuck & Tony

Hello, Slippers! Welcome to The Third Slip - the weekly newsletter that usually summarises the happenings of the week in an easy to forget format with cringeworthy puns. But, now for something completely different. Hopefully, there are enough of you that don’t know that the authors of The Third Slip met on Orkut. In fact, we didn’t physically meet for 7 years. However, what kept us in touch during the time were two suitably awfully titled blogs - Chronicles of Dementia by Chuck, and Royal Ramble by Tony. 

So, in a throwback to those times, and as a reminder to some of you dear readers who ask us why we don’t do more editorial content, here are two pieces about 2020 by each of us - 2020: The reboot the world needed by Chuck and 2020: In hindsight, the year in which fascism won by Tony. If you are new to The Third Slip, rest assured this is not what we usually do. Regular programming resumes next week. On with the chronicles of our royal rambles. On with the op-eds…

2020: The reboot the world needed

by Chuck

When I was a wee young lad, doing my MBA at MICA, I had a crappy Acer laptop, made even more crappy with pirated software and suchlike. Things would get so bad that a once-a-quarter formatting was ritual, and at one point I knew the Windows XP key byheart. For a brief moment, I’d tell myself that “this time would be different”, much like New Year resolutions, but I’d make the same mistakes again, and 3 months later… M6TF9-8XQ2M-YQK9F-7TBB2-XGG88.

I have no idea why I told you that story because it’s the wrong analogy for 2020, but I got nostalgic about old operating systems and MICA’s aloo parathas. But anyway.

You don’t need me to tell you the world has had a terrible year, even if individually we were unaffected (or even enriched). Close to 2 million people worldwide have died, millions affected directly or indirectly, and many pushed to poverty, perhaps forever. I’m pretty sure every year in the decade has been conferred the title of ‘worst year ever’, and even those who saw a trend there wouldn’t have expected… Whatever the fuck 2020 was. 

That being said, there are positives one can take out of this, and not in the same way that a losing captain is forced to come up with in the post-match ceremony. There’s a renewed respect for science and expertise. If that sounds too optimistic, let’s at least applaud the fact that our species cranked out several vaccines under adverse conditions, in a 10th of the next-best time. In the process, we’ve learnt several things which will hold us in good stead for the next virus, or existing diseases. The first major work-from-home experiment was finally done, and while there are several people itching to going back and bitching about each other in person, the benefits of remote and flexible work are here to stay, at least for some of us. There are increased noises (sadly, not fully concrete action) against climate change, outdated education, and diets. ESG is at least a talking point during virtual AGMs, which is better than what we had before. Mental health is an accepted topic of discussion. Aided by the virus, there’s a sensible person in the White House, and China’s global image has taken a hammering. 

Of course, there were many, many negatives, possibly more than the positives. The pandemic alone has exacerbated authoritarianism, divides (digital, health, education). Besides that, racism against everyone from blacks to Dalits to Uighurs shows how far we need to go before the Utopian Jetsonian image we had painted for ourselves. Big Tech has got more egregious. A Biden in the White House is not going to suddenly inspire a liberal streak in other countries. Nature is not heaving the sigh of relief many thought a global lockdown would bring. Many of these problems happened (or would have been exacerbated) even without Covid-19, and on some I remain as pessimistic as ever. Regular readers of The Third Slip will know what I’m talking about.

“Hope” is a word that’s thrown about a lot these days - some with those armed with data, mostly by those out of desperation. I’ve realised ‘hope’ really depends on the subject and time horizon we’re talking about. Am I hopeful about 2021? For me, personally, I am - I anticipate more projects, more time for recreation, and a bullish stock market. Am I hopeful India will become a great place for minorities? Not in this decade. Am I hopeful India will be a decent place to work for “people like us”? Absolutely. Am I hopeful China will get its comeuppance and the US restore some sense of sanity to a world that badly needs healing? Foolishly, I say yes in the next 8 years. Am I hopeful that Kochi Tuskers will return to the IPL? No, not even the pandemic can do that.

But here’s the thing: I’m optimistic not in the macro but in the micro. While we’ve seen Karens and lynchings, we’ve also seen the good side of humanity and bad news gets more oxygen than good. I think (and hope) a generation scarred by the coronavirus will actually do something because of it. Increased empathy. Increased people opting for science (remember the effect the moon landing had). Folks inspired to start companies and foundations to solve problems rather than to suck VC cock. Increasing questioning of the world.

To be clear, none of this is going to manifest itself in 2021. While I know what I said above is wishful thinking, you’ll get to applaud or mock me only in 5 years, maybe 20. The point is, the ingredients have been put in the sou-vide cooker. We’ll need to wait for the slow process to begin now. 

In the meantime, what can we do? I believe that small things Butterfly Effect themselves to something big. Every famous musician was inspired after seeing someone. Companies are built after founders saw or experienced something. So… Just be good to people. Screw the government. No point worrying about that. Control things that you can. Inspire your kids. Tip your delivery guy. Donate to a good cause. Call up a friend. Be supportive to colleagues. Ensure your newsletter co-author has minimal editing to do. 

See, in 20 years, we will look back at 2020. Only time will tell whether we take advantage of the biggest opportunity given to us in a generation, or make Yuval Noah Harari’s worst instincts come true. 

The “beauty” of the impact of Covid-19 is that it’s shaken up things so much - across industry, geography and all aspects of life - that it could go either way. And that itself, I guess, is reason for hope. 

Maybe if I just got a freakin’ licensed version of Windows, I wouldn’t have had to format my system 20 times. Oh well. 

2020: In hindsight, the year in which fascism won

by Tony

This is the wrong year for me to write an op-ed. It’s 2020, of course, and also I’ve settled into that part of my thirties where Indian men become unfunny uncles overnight. It’s all patronising pontification from here on out. But, I already have a podcast where I explain things to people, so there’s a slim chance that I’m pontificated out.

I will remember 2020 as the year in which the vitals of democratic India flatlined. But, you ask reasonably, the year started with a protest and is ending with another that’s gone on over 100 days. CAA/NRC is well on the backburner and the government is speaking with the farmers. Yes, in terms of the relative show of strength, the fascists seem to be on the back foot. But in terms of the mindset, expectations, and actions of its institutions and people, India has decayed rapidly. Here’s why I think there’s no way back…

Pyramid Scheme: The rulers of India promised development at some distant age in the past, only to replace it with a shove down to Maslow’s Pyramid of the hierarchy of needs. In the words of Kanhaiya Kumar, this government is like the father who when his child asks for a biscuit puts him on top of the almirah, so that the child now says “Papa please get me down from the almirah”.  2020 was a year in which I felt for the first time that my life could get much worse not just because of a pandemic, but because of an evil dispensation.  The reality has no bearing on the mood of the nation though - migrants were stranded by the lockdown and left to fend for themselves overnight, BJP continued to win elections. The number of salaried employees dropped by a whopping 21% from 2019 to Nov 2020, the SENSEX is about to cross the 48000 mark. The foundation stone for a new parliament building was laid, but the parliament cancelled its winter session. Come bask in the delightful twist of light into rainbows as with a glass pyramid.

Lead by example: I have been accused of burying the lead in the past, but here I’ve merely hidden the lead behind a heteronym. If you read that “lead” as in the metal, I’ve been caught plumbum in front. In an easy game of Incentives when there’s no steel in the opposition, the leading dispensation has adopted the tried and tested strategy of Pablo Escobar - plata o plomo - silver or lead, bribe or bullet. And like most rational human beings, the politicians of the day lap up the thirty pieces of silver flung their way. Oh let’s not forget Arvind Kejriwal who was quick to make a pivot to devote and embrace the Islamophobia zeitgeist. Meanwhile, we’re left asking how can Jyotiraditya Rescindia? There’s no silver lining here.

Media rare: 2020’s “When they were asked to bend, they crawled” award goes to the news media, (or should I say mafia?) who have fuelled the fire of stupidity and violence. Meanwhile, where there’s a mere semblance of spine, it’s all fine. Penalty aplenty. NDTV, for example, finds itself facing fines of 27 Crores. The judiciary has also confused us with its priorities when Arnab Goswami was (rightly) granted bail by the Supreme Court with great alacrity while also asking people to not watch content they don’t like, but then bizarrely the likes of Sanitary Panels and Kunal Kamra are facing contempt charges. The likes of Barkha Dutt and Faye D’Souza have been deplatformed and are attempting to go it alone. At least, they don’t face the predicament of Kerala journalist, Siddique Kappan, who is in prison in UP, because of his name. The message is clear - if you’re anti-establishment, you shall be cut down to size, if you’re Muslim, you’ll be thrown in jail. Stick a fork in it, we’re done. 

Traditional Satire: This was also the year in which reality caught up with satire. Anand Ramachandran’s prediction of an underarm cricket world cup sponsored by Rexona practically played out in the Big Bash this year. And so it was for fascism. We have long been under the mistaken belief that pointing out how fascists are fascists will get them to see the error in their ways. Instead, they’ve now proudly embraced the label and suddenly have a playbook to operate by. I laughed in the past about funny fake forwards that said Taj Mahal was really Tejo Mahalaya. Until it was played back to me with all seriousness at a lunch table at work. And so, while we joked a while back that Yogi Adityanath will be the next PM candidate, do turn on your TV sets occasionally to see three-minute ads featuring sir along with words like “development” and “empathy”. Je suis wept. 

Gujular vein: The Gujarat model is now broad-based. State-sponsored violence against property and persons with Muslim names and subsequent ghettoisation is now the law of the land post CAA protests in Uttar Pradesh, riots in Delhi, Madhya Pradesh, and beyond. We laugh at conspiracy theories in the US like pizza gate, meanwhile, in our most populous states, there’s a law against our biggest conspiracy theory - love jihad. The real weapon here is not the (likely unconstitutional) law in itself, but the granting of the license to fundamentalist mobs across the country to unleash violence in the name of rumours about cow, love, and heaven above.

Kaala Chashma: 2020 showed us that we’re living a Black Mirror episode - the one in which MASS programming causes a population to view other human beings as roaches. WhatsApp forwards and misinformation have accelerated Islamophobia in India to a point of no return. Subtle or otherwise, it simmers beneath the surface and fills me with disgust. After all, this was the year of that recalled Tanishq ad and the unnecessarily much-maligned Tablighi Jamaat. Even as we read this, Munawar Faruqui, a stand-up comedian has been beaten up by a mob, arrested by the police, and denied bail for existing. Meanwhile, the mobs that rise up to defend the Indian team despite irresponsible breaches of the covid protocol are now at their throats because they consumed beef in a restaurant in Australia. 

2020 was the year in which it was revealed institutions and individuals of India have inexpugnable internal injuries layered with ever-accelerating cancer that shows no chance of receding. In the past, I would conclude on a positive note about India - things that I hoped for. Now, the h is silent. This is just an op-ed.

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That’s it for this strange week. We’d love to know what you thought, or if you reached till here. Say hello to the authors on Instagram (Chuck | Tony), Twitter (Chuck | Tony), or by replying to this email. Until next week, may your team pull off a come from behind win against all odds. Bye!